Ferris Wheel - Oscar Diaz

9

I laid down the towel on the grass which is where Miss Alaïa Diaz wanted 'Mummy and Ossie' to sit. I still have no idea why I was really here after last night. Everything was so awkward and I blame the alcohol for even letting him touch me. I hated everything that happened last night including going to the party but I had to remind myself that I saw the boys and that alone outweighed Oscar's presence and the stupid choice of dancing with him.

But he approached me.

"She's beautiful isn't she?" I glanced over at Oscar both of us going back to looking at Alaïa who was already enjoying playing on the swings. She had already made two friends.

"I never thought I'd be able to make such a beautiful kid like that. Hell I never thought I'd even have one." I smiled softly. She was my miracle baby.

"To be fair, you never thought a lot of things could happen." He added and I nodded in agreement.

"I never thought I'd live this long." He took a sharp breath and I glanced at him as he looked away.

"It was pretty fucked up how you just left and wrote a letter like that. You didn't try to get in contact with any of us. Why?" He questioned And I could detect a slight anger in his voice

"That's because I didn't want to burden.." he cut me off "you didn't want to burden us with your problem.." he mocked

"..but you're forgetting the fact that we were together. Fuck I was willing to go the whole fucking way with you! It didn't even matter whether you died at least I would've spent the last days with you man." He shook his head and my eyes narrowed on his clenched fists. "That was so fucking selfish of you."

I only pursed my lips going back to looking at Alaïa because this is not what I came here for,I don't know what exactly I came for but it wasn't to argue with him.

"Mummy! Ossie! Look I made a new friend." I smiled when Alaïa came running towards us hand in hand with a little girl that looked about her age.

"What's your name sweetie?" I asked the little girl with the high puff, and two beaded braids on her face.

"Tiana." She answered adorably making my heart swoon.

"Bye now!" And in seconds Alaïa was dragging her away and they were running back to where they were.

As for Oscar and I, we just sat there, I could still feel the anger radiating off of him so I wasn't even going to try to have a conversation. He needed to calm down.

I heard him sigh loudly before speaking "I'm sorry for not asking about you. For trying to forget that you existed once you moved...I just didn't want to be stuck with the memory of you and the thought of you passing."

"Oscar as much as I want to go back and forth with you on all this shit I'm not going to. I left, you got hurt, shoved me at the back of your head, basically killed me off. You got a girlfriend and the life you want. So I don't give a shit about none of that anymore. I don't give a slight fuck if you feel sorry because what's happen has happened and I'm here...not dead and you just so happen to be the father of my daughter."

"Just so happened? You acting like we didn't spend so much time together." He questioned sounding hurt at what I just said.

"You didn't think about me then choosing not to so why the hell should I think about all those times we spent together? I can't reminisce over them if you're over it can I?" I fired back.

In my head this conversation was stupid and meaningless but it was also true. The only thing I was focusing on is the fact that he choose to pretend that I never existed, that we never got together, we never spent that much time and never went through all of that shit we did together,just so that he could move on. It angered me how easy it was for him to do so when I spent 4 years of my life trying so hard to forget about him but failing terribly.

He claimed he loved me,he claimed he wanted to go the whole way with me yet,it looks like I'm the only one that had a shit 4 years and it was so easy for him to forget about us.

"Leigh-Anne... look." I glanced at him raising my eyebrow in question,what more could he have to say "...Camilla wants me to bring Alaïa over one day."

I closed my eyes, clenching my fist about to let myself go off of him. It was becoming so hard to tolerate his stupid face right now if all that came out of his mouth sounded stupid.

"Did you-" he was about to ask but I answered with a stern voice "No."

"What?" He stuttered not quite believing what I said.

"I didn't miss one beat now did I?...I said No." digging my nails in my palm I tried to focus on something that would calm me down but It was kinda hard to do so with his words echoing in my mind.

"Why?" He sat up straighter looking at me weirdly

"Why should I say yes?" I fired back. I needed a good concrete reason why I should let Alaïa around that woman. And when he gave me that whether it made sense or not he can just go fuck right off with that reason and shove it right up his ass...and hers.

"Maybe because she's my girlfriend. We live together and she is my daughter too." I titled my head to the side studying him. He looked like he was ready to make a good argument but unknown to him it was going to be like talking to a wall.
Have you ever heard a wall talk back?

"And? Look, we just started this. I think we need to get use to this.." I pointed between the two of us "..first before we bring other people into her lives okay."

"We? Or you need to get use to this.?" He spat back glaring at me.

I smacked my lips nodding. "You're right. I'm the one that needs to get use to it. And I'm not, so your little Latina princess can wait..for eternity." I added the last part sternly because there is no way I was going to let another woman around Alaïa.

I wasn't ready to explain to her at this age how all of this works. She was way too young in my eyes.

"Childish that's what you are." He glared and I grinned

"Okay then. But I'm just going to tell you this. You might be her dad, your sperm might've help created her. But I carried her, I stayed strong for her, I gave birth to her and I was the only that sat by her bed because she was a premature baby. I'm the one that stayed up at night crying praying that she grew strong, I'm the one that raised her with my family. Went through her teething,when she got a fever I took care of her. I did all of that alone! You might argue that I chose to do those things by myself but I'm the one that did those things. She's in your life now because of me, what happens with her depends on me, So if I say no,not yet that's how it's going to do. Unless you have a problem with that?" I questioned. It was crazy how I kept my voice on the same wave length refusing to pop off and draw attention to the two of us.

"If you do have a problem,then I can take my daughter right now and the only time you'll see her is through postcards we send every year."