For You

chapter 39

After the dinner last night, I woke up this morning with a spiraling headache. My thoughts were all over the place and nothing anyone said could save me from them. I check my phone and see that I have 3 missed calls from Ruel and 6 unread messages from him as well. I know I should've texted him last night after everything that went down, but if we're being honest, I just didn't have the guts.

I don't know why I'm starting to have second thoughts about Ruel. I mean he's nice, tall and singer...what more could I want? It's like my brain is working against me and wants me to stop thinking about Ruel. I don't even know if the rumors about him are true and I shouldn't be letting my mind get the best of me. It's just so hard.

I try and refocus my thoughts on better things, like my show today. It's at a bigger venue than most places I've played at and it was one of the first shows that actually sold out. I'm very excited to play in the beautiful South Carolina tonight and I can already tell it's going to be a very wonderful show!

When Jenny and I leave for the venue, my anxiety kicks in at the thought of seeing Ruel. I told him that he and his mom could come backstage before the show and hangout because I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him before we all departed our ways. Of course, I still like Ruel and my feelings for him haven't changed, I just hope stupid Nora was wrong about what she said. I can't afford to lose another friend.

We reach the venue safely and I have about a half hour until Ruel shows up. I decide to use that time to meditate (maybe Jenny's rubbing off on me), and tune my guitar to practice some of my vocals. As soon as I hear Jenny knock on my door and yell that Ruel and Kate have arrived, I take a deep breath and turn the knob.

"So great to see you again Madeline!" Kate exclaims, pulling me into a hug.

"Same here! I hope all is well!" I smile.

The four of us make small talk until Jenny and Kate walk off to get some coffee, leaving Ruel and I alone in my dressing room.

"So, you feeling better than last night?" He asks, taking a seat on the small sofa.

"Yeah, a good-nights sleep really helped." I answer back, taking a seat on the sofa.

Ruel leans into me and rests his head on top of mine. "You know you can tell me anything right? Remember we promised each other that we weren't gonna stop talking to each other just because tour might be getting the way. I'm always here for you."

I missed this side of Ruel. The cuddly and sappy Ruel makes me smile. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close. Silence fills the room and all my thoughts exit. Right now in this moment, nothing is bothering me.