ABDICATION

37.

He is the one who is unclothed then why it's me who's  shivering?

Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask.

"Like what? " I couldn't stop the words coming out of my mouth.

My subconscious self was face palming. Peeking from her fingers.

What if he do something sinful?

I'm not scared of him doing anything sinful.

I'm scared of liking it.

"You want to know?" His voice was low. So deep and dark. I couldn't have heard if I wasn't this sensitive to every sound right now.

He eyes was challenging me. And he know I love challenges.

I stare back into his darker eyes while keep rubbing my arm.

But when i saw him putting down his cup down and walked to me, I wanted to take my every word back and run out of the doors.

I still have time right. I still can do that.

I turn to my right to leave. The door just inches away from me. I touched the door knob and pulled. It didn't bulge so when I look up I saw a hard palm pasted on it. Holding it shut. I look down meekly and pressed my back on the door. I couldn't look up knowing he is not wearing anything better than his skin and if I look up I will have to look in his eyes.

I noticed something. Inside me.

Why the hell my heart not beating?

"Breathe, love" a heard a murmur near my ear.

I took a long breath but what got inside was only his foresty and woody smell.

I like forests.

I decided to look up slowly. The first thing that caught my attention was how close he is standing. We would be touching if I even relaxed and not pressed to the wall behind me. Then I saw a silvery chain hanging around his neck which reached his middle of his ribs. The triangle locket in the middle look satanic. Then my eyes came up to his chest which was right in front of me. I reached his chest only. 

I never realised he was that big.

Then I look up and found his lips turn up in smirk and his eyes amused at me.

He is just too close for my convenience.

I can't breath. Can't breath. Can't breath.

I pull my hands up in between us to bring more gap between us. But as soon as my hands landed on his ribs I heard him take a sharp intake of breath as if it pained him. I quickly take my hands back.

Is he hurt?

"Are you hurt? " I have to crane up my neck to see into his eyes.

He open his eyes and look down.

"Hurt? That's just a small word for what I felt.." his eyes were still amused.

He then leans down a little and his nose was touching my cheek now.

What's he is upto?

"You know how I felt when every single men gawk at you like they want to have you?"

His voice was dark and I can sense the anger coming back to his voice. The anger in which he almost dragged me up here.

And it's still a mystery to me what I should think about this question.

I looked everywhere but not at him.

The sudden grip on my chin was gentle and made me look up. 

"You want to know what I wanted to do."

I couldn't even nod.

"I think I would like to lock you up in a room and keep you away from all those hawks. " he pulled back a little as if thinking about his own idea.

Yeah?? Really?

"As if that would make me stay longer? " I huffed and turn to leave. But in next moment I was slammed into the wall by a palm pressed  flat on my bare waist.

"You can't just obey. You have to defy me every time.  EVERY TIME." the anger laced his voice again and this time it was for me.

But I realised one more thing. I'm not scared of him. I'm just scared of liking it. Too much.

And

I just didn't like me being weak around him.

Come on sanyukta. Be a woman.

This time I put my hands firmly on his ribs and watch his eyes follow my moments.  Giving a push to create little space enough for me to get out of his grasp.

He gave up and let me go. I know he let me because a man with power like that could even throw me out of the  window.

"You need to stop doing this?" I told him honestly.

"Doing what love? " his voice has amusement now.

"First, this endearment. " I told him walking far away from him and then turn to look at him

He relaxed back on the wall. His both hands crossed over chest.

For holy angels sake. He can't look that beautiful.

"Why love? " he chuckles.

"Beause it's annoying.  " I lied.

He laughed. A real laugh where he look like a devil throwing his head back.

"Now you have given me a stronger reason to call you that, love. "

And I huffed and wonder if it wasn't to annoy me before than what was the previous reason to call me that.