'Pranks and Perverts and Padfoot, oh my!'
Meet Kelsey 'Kelpie' Jones: Miss Americana, Comic lover and the Hufflepuff who doesn't give a Hufflefuck.
Having Lily Evans accidentally fall in love with James Potter was never a part of her plan to get r...
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Late September 1973
"Kels watch out!" Astrid shouted. Kelsey turned around just in time to see a big blob of brownish algae hanging over her head. A few moments later, the heap of wet, stinking kelp fell on her head, drenching her robes.
"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" Kelsey screamed and got up.
At the same time, Lily, who had also been doing her homework next to them with Mary and Marlene, stood up. The girls had been sitting by a tree near the Black Lake on the grass. Lily's Potions essay was now drenched in the same kelp-water.
"JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER!" yelled Lily. James stopped laughing almost instantly the moment those three words left his beloved's mouth. He paled while Sirius sniggered on.
"Thought you'd miss the sea. Should feel right at home though," he shouted rolling over at the sight of Kelsey storming over to him. "Should've thrown you in the lake instead perhaps...isn't that where Kelpies live? Get it? Blimey, the options are too many!"
Kelsey rued the day they had learned about seaweed aka kelp and its magical properties in Herbology this year. Up until now, the boys had stuck to Kelpie jokes. But now they had more ammo and it simply would not do.
Remus stood next to his friends, feeling a little bad about it since Lily had been unwillingly drawn into this now. He had been the one who had told them how they could obtain kelp i.e. a specific type of brown seaweed for this prank. Peter shifted uneasily avoiding eye contact.
"Well, then you should feel right at home too, Black," she shrieked and shoved him into the Black Lake. Sirius who had seen this coming grabbed her hands and took her down with him. Both students came up for air with Kelsey still holding on to Sirius.
"You utter ass. Let me go!" she continued thrashing around, while he tried to get her to stop. Standing in the shallow part of the lake, Kelsey grabbed some of the kelp off her head and threw it at Black's face making him yell in disgust. He took a few steps in his confusion and tripped over his robes falling back.
"You ruined my hair! It's going to stink now! You'll pay for that Jones."
"Not if I get you first Black," she huffed, blowing air on the strand of kelp on her face. Sirius laughed again.
"Oh piss off!" She grabbed some more kelp and this time, tried to shove it into his mouth, toppling over him in the process. His hands came to her sides, holding her steady as she fell on top of him, both, knee-deep in the water now with Sirius on his back.
"It's 'sod off'. Piss off is so.." he searched for a word.
"American?" she finished his sentence ignoring the fact that he was still holding her. And the fact that that was sending chills down her spine that had nothing to do with the cold water.
