'Pranks and Perverts and Padfoot, oh my!'
Meet Kelsey 'Kelpie' Jones: Miss Americana, Comic lover and the Hufflepuff who doesn't give a Hufflefuck.
Having Lily Evans accidentally fall in love with James Potter was never a part of her plan to get r...
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Mid-September 1977
"Mister Black!" Minerva McGonagall scolded the young man. Kelsey looked over across the room to see the Professor's pointy hat that now resembled a french beret. Safe to say, at least Transfiguration lessons with the Gryffindors were never boring.
"You were meant to practice the spell as part of your homework! You are supposed to transfigure that book into a French translation not my hat into a beret!" she said.
"My bad Minnie. Although, if I may, it looks fetching. If you would like to know.." his eyes darted to Lily who was sitting next to Kelsey, and he gave her a sly grin. "..something came up, I didn't get a chance to practice as intended last night." Next to him, Potter smacked his friend with a textbook while McGonagall continued with assigning him detention for calling her 'Minnie'.
James looked at Lily and smiled an apology. Lily rolled her eyes with a small smile on her lips.
Kelsey continued practicing the same spell, muttering is as softly as she could under her breath so that only those around her could hear.
Yes, she still sounded like a boy.
Luckily, Lily had cornered Potter and coaxed it out of him. The potion would wear off today, eventually, and her neck would be back to being slender - minus the Adam's Apple. She couldn't wait.
Halfway through waving her wand to cast the spell, Kelsey paused.
"Say, Lils," she nudged her friend. Lily didn't look up from her spell and instead Hmmm-ed her. "Isn't 'Minnie' a little too close to 'Mummy'?" she asked.
"Sure," her friend replied not looking at her. Kelsey didn't think she had been heard.
But the plan was already forming in her mind.
"Mission 'Payback for the Payback' is in motion," she whispered to no one in particular with determination in her eyes.
"Must you really recite your thoughts like that? This isn't a James Bond movie!" said Lily.
"Sure." It was Kelsey's turn to pretend to listen. She shot Sirius a sickly sweet smile as he lazily flicked his wand at the book in front of him.
ϟ
"But you're fine!" Astrid and Kelsey were back at it. Astrid was trying to convince Kelsey to not go through with her plans for the sake of her best friend's peace of mind and overall safety.
"Payback's a bitch! Black said it himself. You heard it!"
"You can't be stooping to his level?"
"It's too late," Kelsey crossed her arms.
"It's too evil," Astrid mimicked the action.
"Pfft! It's harmless," Kelsey waved off the concerns.
