'Pranks and Perverts and Padfoot, oh my!'
Meet Kelsey 'Kelpie' Jones: Miss Americana, Comic lover and the Hufflepuff who doesn't give a Hufflefuck.
Having Lily Evans accidentally fall in love with James Potter was never a part of her plan to get r...
A/N: You know what - for good measure, I suggest once again that you don't eat or drink while reading this. This was my next favorite to write after 'Enchanted'
Be sure to tap that ☆ button at the end if you enjoy it!!
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Late November 1977
"AND HUFFLEPUFF SCORES ONCE AGAIN!!" The commentator cheered and so did the crowd of students wrapped in Yellow and Black scarves around her. But Kelsey didn't even bat an eye. She was transfixed on the disgusting giggling right next to her that had rendered her unable to focus.
"Eugh. That's revolting," Kelsey scorned at the couple next to her whispering sweet - or rather dirty nothings to each other. "Think I'm gonna be sick. Can they like not?!" She huffed loud enough for everyone around her to hear.
"Got something to say, Jones?" Sirius finally turned his attention her way upon hearing that comment.
It was working. If someone asked him what the score was, he'd be lost. His sole purpose was to rile up Jones while pretending to charm the girl next to him who didn't seem to be complaining. After all the effort he had gone through to secure the exact spot next to her for the game.
"As a matter of fact, yes. Don't be surprised if I hurl my breakfast on you," Jones gave a fake smile before showing the couple the finger.
The girl next to him, whose name Kelsey hadn't bothered asking, paled. She scooted a little close to Black in hopes of protection.
"Don't worry, babe.." Sirius emphasised the word and brought an arm around The Girl's waist. Kelsey ignored the drop in her stomach.
"..Kelpie here is all bark, no bite," he whispered in her ear. Everyone in a three feet radius caught that.
"Well, if it's biting that you want.." The Girl smiled coyly and leaned in closer to Sirius. She proceeded to whisper something while Jones observed his reaction. The Girlthen lazily put her hand over his crotch and squeezed him. In front of everyone.
The crowd cheered again but all their friends were more invested in Sirius' self-inflicted misgivings as an expression of pain and embarrassment appeared. .
"Ugh, get a room," said Kelsey.
"But then I wouldn't get the satisfaction of annoying you," he pouted his lips.
"I'm with Jones on that, mate," Potter piped up on The Girl's other side. "It's getting a bit much."
"I'm surprised she could even find it," Kelsey commented loudly, making Sirius turn redder. He was in the middle of trying to pry his date's hand off his crotch. Blimey, the girl had a strong grip. He was starting to regret this.
