'Pranks and Perverts and Padfoot, oh my!'
Meet Kelsey 'Kelpie' Jones: Miss Americana, Comic lover and the Hufflepuff who doesn't give a Hufflefuck.
Having Lily Evans accidentally fall in love with James Potter was never a part of her plan to get r...
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September 5, 1977
"Our baby's all grown up," Theo Jones exclaimed, wiping a fake tear off his cheek at Kelsey's pre-seventh year party. A party that consisted of her and her parents.
"Senior year! Woo!" her mom shouted, emulating her enthusiasm for what she thought would be a senior year experience like her own in high school. Amelia Jones waved the punk rock-and-roll hand sign.
It was almost as if Kelsey was the sole parent here.
"What the fu-" Kelsey stopped herself before finishing that sentence. "Mum! It's my seventh year. Not senior year! I've been telling you that since my fourth year!" Kelsey complained.
"Was that your freshman year?" her mother asked.
"I think so, dear," her father confirmed.
"Oh, these Brits! You just never know with them. Dealing with primary was bad enough when you were a kid. Anyway- just don't go too crazy having fun. I know it's senior year but still," her mum wagged a finger at her.
On the second day of classes, Kelsey woke up at 5 am after recalling this scene. She never woke up this early. As much as her parents had insisted she enjoy her last year, she doubted they meant waking up at 5 am to prank Sirius Black. Which is exactly what she was doing right now.
But as established before, Kelsey had a plan. Several parts of a plan actually - that she had spent summer perfecting. Much of which included mastering charms and spells. It's a good thing she turned seventeen before school started.
Haha, suck it, Black! Kelsey thought to herself as she threw on some clothes quietly. In the bed next to hers, Astrid stirred but didn't wake up. She knew that Kelsey was doing what she was about to but hadn't been bothered enough to wake up and witness it.
Her loss, Kelsey thought and crept down to the common room. It was deserted.
Kelsey waited a few seconds to make sure no one had followed her downstairs before using the disillusionment charm on herself. It had taken her two whole weeks to get this right. The way she saw it was that at least this way she was preparing for the NEWTs. She was nothing if not determined.
Hidden in plain view, Kelsey crept out of the common room with the bottle of green hair dye she had acquired at the muggle hair salon her mother frequented. Vibrant colours were very punk rock apparently. She carefully but nimbly made her way to the Gryffindor Tower, stopping every few minutes to make sure she wasn't being followed.
"Who's there?" she heard the Fat Lady's portrait ask.
