God of Speed's Redemption

Chapter 14

"I'm so sorry guys. I know I should have told you sooner."

We were all back at S.T.A.R labs and everyone was there. Barry, Cisco, Joe, Wally, and Iris. Harry had gone back to Earth 2 after the wedding with his daughter Jesse. I watched their reactions nervously after I told them everything. About how she had these powers since she was a child, and how she thinks they had recently been triggered when Savitar kidnapped her.

There was a moment of silence as they let the information sink in. The room was so quiet they could hear a pin drop.

"Does anyone else knows about this?" Asked Barry.

I opened my mouth to say that no one else knew but she suddenly remembered Savitar.

"Yes," I replied. "Savitar."

"You told Savitar but you didn't tell us?" Cisco was practically raising his voice now.

I fought back tears. I can't cry in front of them.

"It's not like that," I said quickly. "I had to tell him because I was particularly harsh on him when we saved him because I blamed for triggering Killer Frost. It wasn't fair to him so I told him—"

"That son of a bitch knew this whole time and didn't say a single word?" Interrupted Cisco.

Barry cut in. "Hey everyone just calms down and let's let Caitlin talk. I'm sure there's a good reason."

I looked at Barry, thanking him silently.

"I told him not to tell anyone, don't blame him. He was only keeping it a secret because I promised him not to say anything." I said. "Look guys this has been super hard for me keeping a huge secret like this. I wanted to tell you guys but there was nothing you could do. This was my burden to bear."

I bit my lip and sighed. "Every day I go to sleep wondering if I would turn into her the next day. I have powers that I can't control. Killer Frost is super dangerous and cold. Every day I wonder if I would suddenly lose control and hurt someone and there would be nothing I could do. I couldn't forgive myself I hurt anyone especially if I hurt one of youZ I'm a ticking time bomb. I'm cursed." Tears were now trickling down her face and she didn't bother wiping them. She finally told them everything.

Cisco spoke up slowly. "I'm so sorry Caitlin, We had no idea what you've been going through."

Barry walked up to her and hugged her. Soon Cisco joined him, then Joe, Wally, and Iris. They all huddled like that for a moment. It was nice.

"We'll figure out something to get rid of her." Said Barry.

"How?" I asked and sniffled. "I've run every test and tried everything I could to get rid of her. There's nothing I can do. She's a part of me."

Cisco gave her a reassuring smile. "We're Team Flash. We can do anything. And we'll do everything we can to help you, Caitlin."

"We got your back." Says Wally giving her a huge smile.

"Anyone feeling up for some Grandma Esther's eggnog?" Joe said and they all laughed. The tension finally easing.

Barry pulled her away from the group. "Hey for what it's worth, you took a huge risk and you saved my life so thank you."

I smiled at him. "You saved my life countless times before. It was the least I could do."

"You could have told us earlier though, you could have told me. We would have understood and we would have been there for you."

I looked down at my shoes guiltily. "I know. I was just too scared. I'm sorry"

"Alright enough with the sorries. Let's go, we still haven't had the dinner we were planning to have after the wedding..."
~
As they all headed to Joe's place for dinner, Barry decided to go to Savitar's lair to invite him since he promised Iris he would.

The lair was dark and quiet as he walked in with no sign of Savitar. He looked around the place. There was a table with metal scraps and tools scattered around. He still had that armor of suit lying around. Looks like he was in the middle of fixing it before he went somewhere. He decided to leave since Savitar wasn't here but there was a rush of air and he stood before him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked harshly.

"Sorry I didn't mean to intrude," I said quickly putting my hands up.

"Come to see if I'm packing things up? Don't worry I'll be out of your hair soon and far away as possible from here."

"That's not why I came here," I told him.

"I don't think you came here to say hi to a friend, so I'll ask again. What. are. you.doing. here?" He enunciated the words as if Barry didn't understand.

I ignored him and said, "Team Flash is having a little get together to feast at Joe's tonight. I was hoping you would come."

He snorted. "Thanks for the invite but I'm not a part of Team Flash."

I sighed and decided to give another try. "Look Savitar I know we got off on the wrong foot,  and we haven't been exactly eye to eye lately since we told you that you have to move but I want things to change."

Savitar tilted his head looking at him with narrowed eyes but he continued.

"Come to dinner. And if you are leaving soon, think of it as a goodbye."

Savitar looked away from him sighing. "Thanks but no thanks."

I turned to leave but I suddenly got a knot in my stomach. This wasn't just about keeping my promise to Iris about inviting Savitar anymore. He wanted to help him and feel welcome. He didn't want him to leave thinking Team Flash had abandoned him again.

"I heard about Killer Frost," I said changing the subject.

He gave a half shrug. "So she finally told you huh? For what it's worth I did suggest to her that she should tell you. But she was too scared and she said it was her burden to bear or something like that."

I shoved my hands in my pocket. "I know you care about her."

His jaws clenched. "You don't know what you're talking about. And you don't know anything about me."

I held my palms. "I do know, you're my doppelgänger after all, but look I didn't come here to start a fight."

His expression hardened. "You should go. Wouldn't want your friends waiting for you."

I turned to leave but I stopped. Turning my attention back to him. "There's a part of you that still remembers what it's like to have a family, to have friends. You know you can have all that back. Just like I told you when we brought you back to S.T.A.R labs and saved you."

"Deep down I know you want this, even though you keep denying it. You must feel so lonely. Stop pushing away that part of me that's still in there. The good."

Savitar crossed his arms but he saw a flicker of doubt in his eyes. He knew Barry was right.

I spread my hands. "You don't have to come. It's your choice." I turned to leave but he spoke. "Wait."

He sighed. "Fine, you're right. I do want this. I've been pushing away that part of me because I was scared. I have to let go of the past to finally be free. I'm putting the past behind me."

I smiled at him. "You're doing the right thing."

"I sure hope so."