God of Speed's Redemption

Chapter 44

By the time I ended the call with Barry, it was almost midnight. I decided to sleep and worry about Savitar tomorrow when I heard the front door opening and closing with a loud thud. I quickly rushed out of my room and hastily put on a cardigan over my nightgown.

Savitar was leaning against the door. He finally acknowledged my presence and we made eye contact. A moment later I was running towards him, throwing my arms around him hugging him fiercely. He stumbled back from my force and froze, clearly surprised. I could feel his arms around me hesitant at first then hugging me tighter. His cheek resting on my head. I buried my face in his shoulder, breathing in his scent. She realized this was the first time that they've ever embraced.

Despite wanting to stay like that, I pulled away from him after a moment. Anger already swelling up inside, forgetting what I told myself earlier to go easy on him.

"I can't believe you just left like that! You didn't even take your comms device. Do you know how reckless that was? You disappeared for so long I thought something happened to you!"

To her dismay, the corner of his mouth curled up. "Are you saying you were worried about me?" His eyes danced.

I opened my mouth and closed it. "No—I wasn't. I'm just saying it's not wise to be gone for so long. And you missed dinner." I silently cursed myself. You missed dinner. That was the best she could do? What a stupid thing to say.

I noticed him shivering slightly. "You're shivering. Come on let's get you in front of the fireplace." I turned away and started walking into the living room. "If you're going to go, at least bring a slightly warmer coat with you—"

"Caitlin." Savitar caught her by the hand before she could take another step, spinning her around to face him.

She saw something changed in his eyes for a brief second. He was no longer grinning, his expression became solemn. She barely had time to register what was happening, even without Savitar using his speed. When suddenly Savitar was kissing her. She let out a small gasp of surprise. His mouth was soft and eager, exploring hers.

It was only for a few seconds but it felt like forever. He smelled like the wind and snow and nature. His cologne was a faint smell now. They finally broke apart and he stared at her intently.

"I've been wanting to do that for a while now." He whispered. "I wasn't sure if you would appreciate it." The softness was still in his eyes.

"Quite alright," I said in a daze. I didn't think I could form proper sentences at the moment.

I looked at him—speechless. I didn't know what else to say. My mind was blank and I didn't want to ruin this moment. And here I thought I was the only one with weird, mixed feelings for him.

"Never to suffer would never have been blessed," Savitar said under his breath.

I look at him quizzically but thoughtfully. "I think I've heard of that somewhere before."

"It's a quote by Edgar Allan Poe."

"Oh. I didn't know you were a fan of him."

He shrugged. "I remember Barry reading it before from his memories, but it's one of my favorite quotes by him. Do you know why?"

I shook my head. My brain still felt like it was put in a toaster. Did the kiss just happen?

"Because it means bad times lead to good. And I've suffered plenty of bad times before as you know. It's a reminder that we need to go through very rough patches in our life to have personal growth and victory. It's a reminder that tough times are just temporary."

He put his hands on my shoulder and sniffed, looking down at his shoes. "Lately, I've forgotten that at the end of the very dark tunnel, there's always light. You are my light, Caitlin. It's astonishing how it took me a while to realize that but...I see it now. I see it. He slowly lifted his head and looked me right in the eyes. I shuddered slightly under his gaze. This was a new side to him that he was showing me. A side that he's never shown anyone before. Now, he was being completely vulnerable to her.

"I'm sorry," said Savitar suddenly.

"What?" I asked just to make sure I heard him correctly.

Savitar cupped her face with his hands. "Caitlin, listen to me, "I've done some pretty horrible things but it came from a place of hurt. A place of loneliness. And I know that even when I was doing those horrible things I never quite felt satisfied. I never feel content. There was a piece of me missing. It was until I met you. I'm sorry I said all those things earlier before I left. I didn't mean any of it. I'm glad you're here with me. I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else." He smiled shyly.

"Iris isn't my first love Caitlin, you are and I hope I can be your last if you still want me."

His arms dropped back to his sides but she saw his fingers twitched for a slight second. It was as if he wanted to hold her hands but wasn't sure if he should. He looked at her wearily, his eyes growing even softer with a hint of uncertainty like he was worried about how she would react. There was such warmth in his eyes. She's never seen him look like this before, that she took a small step backward. Savitar eyed her movement but didn't say anything, but I saw his shoulders slumped a bit. He was expecting me to back away from him. I thought. He expected me to be horrified for what he just did.

I searched into his eyes for a moment. She studied him and saw how vulnerable he looked right now with a tiny glint of doubt and apprehensiveness. She saw him, the real him underneath all the hurt, the scars and the pain and the darkness. She saw who he was.

"Say something," he said quietly.

"Sorry I'm just— wow you caught me by surprise. And I don't think there's anything I can say—" I laughed. "you can be pretty sweet and romantic you know, I can never match that..." I babbled on nervously and I wanted to slap myself. Why do I always do this when I get nervous?

Savitar chuckled. "You're cute when you ramble like that." He looked serious again. "Cait, I just want to say that you shouldn't feel obligated to give me an answer right now. You don't have to feel like you owe me anything—"

I lifted my hand and touched his cheek, and he trailed off. He seemed to relax a bit when I did as he closed his eyes for a second and exhaled softly, leaning into my hand. I slowly traced his scars gently, memorizing every curve—every pattern and he shivered. The whole time his eyes didn't leave her face as he watched her with fascination like she was a Christmas present.

Something shifted inside her and she could tell it did to him too. It was like a pull, drawing them together. All the hesitation was gone and the tension finally broke as she suddenly leaned forward, tilted her head, and kissed him. Her mouth crashing into his the exact moment his mouth crashed into hers, teeth and tongue clashing.