God of Speed's Redemption

Chapter 34

She stared at the cure that was sitting on a box in front of her. She was alone for now since she got to Star Labs super early. She had barely slept. The cure arrived at her apartment last night but she waited till morning to open it. Her mom had succeeded and it was delivered to her in a matter of days, to Caitlin's surprise. If she had known her mom was that good, she would have gone to her a long time ago.

However, looking at it now, her stomach was tied into knots. She was contemplating whether she should take it or not. This was what she wanted for as long as she can remember. But now that it was in front of her...she was a bit doubtful. Partially because she felt guilty. Savitar had told her that Frost was his friend and it made her hesitate. She must have been lost in thoughts, staring at it for a while because the lights flickered on and footsteps approached her. She didn't even bother to turn around.

"Caitlin?" It was Barry's voice. "What are you doing here sitting in the dark?"

I hadn't told him about the cure. I hadn't told anyone. Now, she will have to.

She took a deep breath and pushed the box towards him and gestured for him to look. She could see the confusion in his eyes as he gingerly took the small glass bottle and held it.

"What is this?" He asked, turning it around in his hand.

"The cure. A permanent cure."

Barry's eyes grew wide.

"I went to my mom last week and asked her to make a cure for me. Honestly, I was doubtful she could do it but she succeeded. It was delivered to me yesterday."

Barry took a seat beside her and set the bottle down. All she had to do was take a swig and she would be cured within hours. That was what her mom had written on a note along with the box.

"So why haven't you taken it? Isn't this what you wanted? I thought your reaction would be a bit more cheerful than this." He teased her.

"I do want this, I've wanted this for so long more than anything but now that I have it right in front of me... I can't help but think that what if I'm killing something inside of me? I know that Killer Frost is just an alter-ego and I would be free of her when she's gone but what if...Barry, should I do it?"

Barry put a hand on here and squeezed it. "Hey don't overthink it. And I wish I can answer your question, I do but," he paused for a moment and glanced at it. "You don't have to take it right now if you're not feeling up for it. It's up to you Cait. It's your life after all. Whether you take the cure or not, remember that that doesn't make you a bad person okay? Killer Frost is technically not even a person so you're not hurting anybody." He smiled at her reassuringly and I smiled back gratefully. 

"You know," I said and took the bottle as I unscrewed the cap. "You're getting good at these pep talks." I teased.

He laughed. "That's what Joe said!"

I smiled thinly. "Cheers." And I tilted the small bottle and took a swig. "Ooh." I shook my head. "Just like drinking a shot."

"How do you feel?" Barry asked. His brows were furrowed in worry.

I didn't say anything for a moment. "I feel fine. I don't feel any different. But it won't take any effects until at least a few more hours."

"You know," I set the small bottle back down on the table. "I'm beginning to understand Savitar I think."

Barry raised an eyebrow. "Woah, that's quite an accomplishment. I didn't think anyone could understand him, even I couldn't and he's a duplicate of me."

"I think Killer Frost came from a place of loss." I continued. "I had her ever since my dad died and Savitar...he comes from a place of loss too. Your loss." I bit my lip for a second contemplating on whether I should share the bit of information with Barry that Savitar had shared with her the other day.

Barry noticed her chewing on her lips. "What is it? You're doing that lip-biting thing again whenever something's bothering you."

Of course, she can tell him. Barry was one of her best friends after all.

"Savitar told me that the reason why he didn't contact you and let Frost come with her is that he didn't want to be alone and he said that...he needed me by his side." She deliberately left out the part about Frost being friends with Savitar, and it is one of the reasons why he let Frost come. He already knew that and she didn't need to reopen the wound again when she knows how Barry was pissed at Savitar for that.

Barry leaned back in his chair. He looked thoughtful. "Wow. I didn't think Savitar could sound...vulnerable."

I nodded agreeing with him. "Yeah, "vulnerable," wouldn't be the first word I would use to describe him."

"You two have grown quite close. It's interesting."

"Interesting?"

"I meant that you're the closest human being to him and you've been there for him. I understand why he would say that he needed you by his side." He smirked at her and her face suddenly grew hot when she realized Barry was making fun of her.

I fanned my face and stood up. "It's getting hot in here. I'm going to turn on the ac. Should have done that since I got here."

"You're blushing!" Barry called out as she headed to the corridors.

"I am not!" I retorted.

"We're just friends. He meant that in a polite way. That's all!" My voice was an octave higher than usual.

Barry held up his hands, palms facing her. "Just saying." She could still faintly see the smirk lingering on his face.

I rolled my eyes. "I need coffee." I huffed.

Barry shot straight up and sped towards her until they were walking side by side. "Good idea, I need coffee too."