God of Speed's Redemption

Chapter 45

(Savitar's pov) this is basically the previous chapter but from Savitar's perspective)

By the time I returned to the house, my mind was clear and I was calm. He knew Caitlin was probably—no—definitely going to yell and lecture at him for disappearing for hours like that. I slipped into the house—surprised to find that the door was unlocked. I was going to have to lecture Caitlin on locking doors—someone else could've broken-in. I tripped over the threshold and cursed silently. I meant to slip in without making any noises but he was already making so many noises. I slammed the door shut and leaned against it, closing my eyes. He was glad to be inside—it was colder than he had thought outside and all he had was his aviator jacket.

A few seconds later I heard running footsteps that stopped abruptly. I opened my eyes and met Caitlin's who was staring at him. Although she was only wearing a nightgown and a cardigan with a stern expression on her face, he could see the relief in her eyes and he was really glad to see her despite the fight they had.

She ran towards him and threw her arms around him that caught me by surprise and I stumbled back a couple of steps against the door. Her embrace was fierce and I hugged her back with equal intensity as I buried my face into her hair, breathing in her scent deeply. The time away from Caitlin had put some things in perspective. It had given him plenty of time to think. He couldn't lose her and he didn't want to be away from her. That much was clear. He wanted to be with her—he wanted to be her rock that she could count and lean on. He couldn't remember the last time he was happy, but being with her brought him a sense of completeness and happiness that nothing ever has. One thing was sure: he needed her.

Caitlin pulled away from him first. And I let her go with difficulty, already wanting her back in his arms. He hadn't realized how much he yearned for intimacy and touch. Those were the things that he had lacked from his time being shunned away from team flash in the future timeline, and his time at the speed force. And it wasn't like he had friends that he could hug, unlike Barry, constantly surrounded by people that he loves and loves him in return. He had Frost as his friend of course and he gained Caitlin as his friend. His only friend now. The only person who had ever looked out and cared about his well being. He couldn't—wouldn't take her for granted.

"Where have you been?! She exclaimed. "Do you know what time it is?" She launched into a lecture that he expected. And now, he wasn't annoyed by her lectures anymore. This was her way of showing him that she cared about him for her to worry. He understood that now.

I shuddered a bit although from the cold or from the unexpected embrace from her he got—he didn't know. Caitlin must've noticed it because she frowned, "you're shivering," she remarked. "C'mon let's get you in front of the fireplace so you can warm up." Of course, Caitlin would think he was shivering from the cold. She hadn't acknowledged that she had impacted him and his life more than he ever imagined from the moment he met her. She was too important to him and he didn't want to lose her ever again.

Before I knew what I was doing, I caught her by the hand and spun her around to face him. They were very close to each other now. Caitlin's eyes widened. "Savitar what are you—"

Before she could finish her sentence, I found myself kissing her fiercely, leaning into her, pressing my mouth against hers, wanting her. I could feel myself burning with desire. She gasped with surprise and I thought she would pull away or push me away but she didn't. And with reluctance, I pulled away to look at her.

"You've no idea how much I wanted to do that," I spoke. My voice came out barely a whisper. "I wasn't sure if you would appreciate it and I'm sorry if offended you by being too forward with the kiss. I understand if you don't want to see me anymore and if you want to stay as far away from me as possible.." I realized I was rambling and I stopped myself.

She shook her head. "no, it's quite alright," she said and smiled at me. I let out a breath of relief. Suddenly the gloomy room seemed brighter.

"And I'm sorry that I've been gone for hours like that, but good aspects did come out of it. I had some time to think and there are some things that I put in perspective. Namely...you."

She raised an eyebrow at that. "Do tell."

"I didn't mean any of those terrible things I said earlier—I think you know that too. You know how reckless and stupid I can get and I have a bad temper and I say things I don't mean at times like that. I think you'll be pleased to know that I'll work on better controlling my temper."

"That is a good thing."

"Yeah." I cleared my throat. "I've done some unspeakable things in the back from brainwashing people to believe I'm a god, to killing and almost killing Iris—I wanted power. But I know now that power and creating fear doesn't make me happy. It doesn't make me feel full or content. But you...you bring me happiness Cait. You've shown me kindness. It was until I met you that I knew what kindness truly felt like, and you made me happy for the first time in a long time.

I thumbed her cheek gently before dropping my hand back to my side. "Iris wasn't my first love—she never was. You are Cait. You always have been. And if you let me...I would like to be your last." I could feel my cheeks burning after I said that. But it had to be said. No more hiding now. No more secrets.

I held my breath and waited for her to reply but she seemed frozen as she stared at me with wide eyes. Have I been in over my head? I started panicking a bit.

"Say something," I said breaking the silence.

"Sorry I'm just—wow you caught me by surprise. And to my astonishment, she laughed. A clear, sweet sound that seemed to fill the room. My dread melted away.

"That was sweet and romantic what you said and I'm happy you told me Savitar." Her expression was soft and sweet and her big brown eyes were so beautiful—she was so beautiful it made my heartache.

"Cait, just so you know, don't feel obligated to have feelings for me too. I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything—"

I stopped talking when she lifted her hand to touch my cheek. I leaned into her palm instantly and closed my eyes. Her hand was warm but I shivered under her touch. She slowly traced her fingers upon my scars and goosebumps exploded on my arms. Fire coarse through my veins.

There are no ways to describe how I felt but it was pulling my heart—pulling me closer to hers. All the hesitation was gone as I leaned in to kiss her the same moment she reached up to me. Our mouths crashed and it was all heat and desire.