Take Me to the Sky✔️

Chapter - 18

He should have realized that the good things that happened to him were usually short-lived.

It had been several days since that morning when he had woken up like new, and things had gotten worse.

Sometimes things in life happened quickly, too fast to react to events, but this was not the case with Yoongi. It never had been. It was as if fate enjoyed the painful situations it put him in, lengthening his misery and making him suffer slowly, letting him be aware of each blow.

The shadows weren't so worrisome to him anymore. Well, at first they were. Almost two days after the first meeting, he saw them again. Sometimes they just stood still, waiting for it to blink and then disappear. Other times they moved in front of him, or around him, so swiftly he could barely keep up with them. The only trace they left behind was the sound of an object that had fallen, inexplicably, or of a door slamming shut. If it weren't because it was already the second time in his life that he went through this situation, he would have thought that his house was full of spirits.

The fact is that while seeing shadows was quite annoying, and from time to time he felt his heart leap out of his chest at something that had scared him, there was nothing worse than nightmares. Not only because they prevented him from a good break session, but because they were too real, as if he were really inside his own dream. He got up with a racing heart, his pillow soaked in sweat, his skin cold despite being covered to the chin.

He had tried everything to sleep; he didn't care if he didn't feel rested afterwards, he just wanted to stop having those nightmares, to remember them. The only thing he hadn't done yet was tried taking pills because nothing good ever came of it. The possibility of becoming dependent on them was too high.

He was ashamed to admit that he had thought of doing it, even if it was in a moment of weakness. After one of the worst nightmares he had ever had, a memory from when he was little and that he had found it hard to forget, he ran to the bathroom to wet his face hoping to erase the nightmare from his memory.

His breathing was shallow and shallow, and his hands were shaking uncontrollably, even after holding onto the sink. After a few deep breaths, he controlled his breathing, but he was still shaking like a leaf. After wetting his face one last time, he risked looking at himself in the mirror which served as a medicine cabinet, immediately hating what it reflected.

Yoongi has always been one of those people who remain white under any circumstances, but what the mirror showed him was a pale face, almost the same white colour as the bathroom light, although he was a sicker colour. The dark circles only stressed the paleness of his face, and his hair stuck to his face like a second skin.

The more he looked at his reflection, the worse it looked. His dark brown eyes had turned into two empty black wells that seemed to engulf everything around him, leaving him for dessert.

With one swift movement, he opened the side of the mirror to avoid having to keep looking at his reflection. It was a wrong move, because in front of him, right at his fingertips, were multiple pill bottles: muscle relaxants, ibuprofen, aspirin, and even pills for insomnia. It was as if even the medicine cabinet was laughing in his face for being so naïve that he could escape.

He didn't know what made him do it, but from one moment to the next he clutched the bottle of insomnia pills, weighing how many he could take so that nightmares wouldn't haunt him again. Considering how vivid they were, it would be best to take three or four, to make sure they worked. Or maybe it was better to spend what was left of the pot, that way there was no doubt it would work.

Yoongi knew that what he was doing was wrong, that the pills were only going to mask the real problem and that he could put his life at risk. But he didn't seem able to stop, and it wasn't because he didn't want to, but because his body wasn't responding to him. It was as if he was not in his body, as if someone else was the one who controlled all his movements, leaving him as a mere observer. Unfortunately, he couldn't silence all those voices in his head that told him he should let go, that in a few moments he would find peace.

He had already opened the bottle and placed the pills in the palm of his hand, closing it a little to prevent any from escaping and bringing it to his mouth. Just a little more and he would be free. He could go back to sleep and no longer have to suffer from the memories and the nightmares.

With only an inch to go before he put the pills in his mouth, he felt an intense cold that ran through his body, as if someone had spilt all the frozen water of the Arctic on him. At first, the shock and the temperature shock paralyzed him. Seconds later, his body regained movement and his hand opened wide enough to allow the pills to fall into the sink with a clatter.

Yoongi stared in amazement at the number of pills in the sink without finishing believing he had been about to swallow them. He knew he wasn't capable of doing it voluntarily; it hadn't even crossed his mind to do it when he was in depression. All he did was isolate himself from others, but he had never wanted to end his life, not before or now, no matter how much it put obstacles increasingly difficult to overcome.

It sure has something to do with the shadows. There is no other explanation. Yoongi thought as he sat on the toilet seat and looked down at the floor.

The cold that he had felt throughout his body had almost completely dissipated, leaving only its trace at the level of his chest, where his gem rested. It was a pink quartz, irregular, just as you would find it in its natural state, and with a black cord that passed through one of its ends.

Yoongi caught it between his fingers. The cold that he had felt before was now a cool sensation, quite pleasant and calming. With his fingers he traced each irregular part of the gem, remembering his mother's surprised face when he told her he wanted his gem as it was, with no specific shape. It was not such a strange occurrence, but most people always preferred their gem to have a certain shape. For him, the ability to choose the shape of his gem had been the only satisfying thing he had experienced during the entire process of obtaining a gem; the rest, he didn't want to remember.

Finally, Yoongi got up and picked up the pills with one hand, while with the other he clung to his gem as if it gave him the strength to continue. After making sure he had them all, he flushed them down the toilet bowl, the best way to keep them out.

Now, let's hope he can go back to sleep. Yoongi thought as he went to his room.

Upon entering, he decided it was not the most pleasant place to sleep at the moment. It was as if the nightmare he'd had, plus that the sheets were soaked, permeated the room. It wasn't the best place to sleep, so with a resigned sigh, he grabbed his cell phone and headed for the living room. There he took a blanket that he always had an on hand in case he got cold while he watched TV and wrapped himself in it as he settled into the couch.

He didn't know what time it was, and he wasn't interested in finding out, he just wanted to sleep having no nightmares. He snuggled further against the back of the chair, cradling the gem in his hands, hoping that the shadows would leave him alone.

This story belongs to @nometoloko on AO3. I'm just her translator.

This wasn't the brightest chapter, I know. It was quite painful to read while editing. It tells us a bit about he is feeling. The struggle is real guys. 

For those who wanted to know who "Jun" was; She/he was Yoongi's ex. Not Joonie; that is Namjoon. I'm not revealing their gender, so have fun guessing.

Hope you guys liked it. Follow and vote please guys.