Stuck In A Moment

Christmas part 5.

Christmas day had come and things were still not great. Both boys had tried to put their feelings on hold for the holiday, but knew they would break eventually. Their plan was to just try and stay away from each other for most of the day. But Christmas dinner has other plans in store.
It was the Schuylers turn to host. Peggy was happy that she wasn't with Stephen this year. It ate her up. What she did. She never thought Laurens would forgive her. She felt so stupid for being with Stephen in the first place. Now everything was good again.
Mostly.

"I love you, but please." Peggy begged. "It's a holiday."

"I know. Me and Alexander have already made plans to avoid each other the whole day." Laurens smirked.

"What about dinner?"

"Whoops. I totally forgot about that. I have no idea." Laurens admitted.

"Just... try and talk to me. Ok?"

"Ok."

Alexander happened to be having a similar conversation with Eliza.

"Dinner is in 30 minutes and hopefully it will only last a few hours. Just... try and be cooperative." Eliza asked.

"I will do my best." Alexander sighed. "But I can't make any promises."

"I'll take it."

Everyone got ready and went to Schuyler Manor for dinner. Everything seemed to be going well at first, until dinner was finally ready.

"Just control your temper." Eliza whispered into his ear. "Try and stay calm."

"I love you." Alexander kissed her cheek. "Best of wives and best of women."

"I know I am." Eliza joked.

They all walked into the dining room. That's when Alexander and Laurens saw each other for the first time that day.

"Mr. Hamilton." Laurens stated.

"Wow!" Alexander gasped.

Peggy punched John in the arm. "Not even two seconds."

"Come on Alex." Eliza pulled on his arm.

Apparently God has a sense of humor, because the two boys ended up sitting across from each other. Hehehe.

"Lord bless this food we are about to eat. And thank you for bringing our two families together. Amen." Philip said.

"Amen." Laurens deadpanned. Even though he didn't want to, he couldn't stop glaring at Alexander. Alex did the same.

"So Peggy, did you like what I got you?" Eliza asked.

"Yeah, I still don't know where you found that limited edition of Twilight." Peggy laughed. "The pictures make a big difference. Especially the shirtless ones."

"It took a long time." Eliza laughed.

As hard as the girls were trying to break the tension, it was to no avail.

"Me and Adrianne found an apartment not too far from campus." Laf began. "We were thinking about moving in around the spring."

"That sounds great." Washington smiled. "We'll be glad to help."

"Thanks." Adrianne smiled back.

So far so good.

So far.

"Alexander? I have a special present for you that I wanted to save until after dinner." Eliza said.

"I look forward to it." Alexander stated.

"I'm sure you do." Laurens smirked. "Like how you looked forward to borrowing her car everyday so you could go see Maria?"

"Laurens..." Peggy tried to calm him down.

"I'm sorry, excuse me for getting amnesia and forgetting that I dated Eliza." Alexander replied.

"You remembered enough. You just didn't want it to stop." Laurens retaliated. "And how do you think that effected me?"

"You can't possibly look at yourself right now and say that you're not being dramatic." Alexander laughed.

"Alexander..." Eliza tried to get him to stop.

"Oh, but I can. I really can." Laurens hissed. "What I don't possibly understand is how you can sleep at night!"

"I'm sorry, am I the one that tried to kill you?" Alexander raised his tone of voice. "Need I remind you that I saved you from your father the first time."

"Need I remind you I saved your life the second! But no, you only think of what makes Alexander look good. You only think of yourself!" Laurens yelled.

"I should've let you die! We'd all be better off without you!!!" Alexander exclaimed. He immediately regretted it. "Laurens..."

John jumped up and ran out of the room. Peggy tried to follow him, but she lost him.

Alexander jumped up as well. He knew he couldn't control his tongue. He wished he had said nothing at all. Eliza grabbed his arm and pulled him into another room.

"Eliza..." He was cut off by her slapping him in the face.

"You never think, do you!?!?!?!" She screamed. "You don't understand what you just did."

"I do. I made him think I hated him." Alexander put his head down.

"No, that is only the beginning of this." Eliza glared at him. "You told someone who struggled all his life thinking he was just a burden to others, that he was better off dead. What do you think he's gonna do now!?!?!?!"

"We have to find him." Alexander tried to leave.

"We? I think you've done enough Hamilton." Eliza pushed him back and left the room.

Alexander fell to the ground. He didn't know what to do anymore. He felt like he had failed his brother. Just like he felt he had failed James.

"James! Help me!"

"I'm gonna get you out of there!"

He was being tormented on the inside. Feeling like death was taunting him. Something that would make it all go away, and yet something he never seemed to be able to do.

"I couldn't get to him in time. He was dead when I found him."

"Laurens... I'm so sorry." Alexander whimpered.

"You stupid brat! All you'll ever be is a stupid bastard!"

"I'm sorry."

"Maybe you're the one who's better off dead."

"I'm so sorry."

A/N: Anything in font is Alexander's thought. Reliving the past.