Stuck In A Moment

Forgiveness... can you imagine?

A/N: IF SUICIDE TRIGGERS YOU IN ANY WAY PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER!

Alexander had given up hope. He had felt like maybe killing himself as well. He figured it wouldn't hurt to try.

He sat down on the couch and wallowed in his misery. He was currently at Schuyler Manor, but he didn't figure on staying there too long. Lafayette decided to join him.

"You ok, mon ami?"

"Don't call me your ami. I don't deserve the title." Alexander mumbled. "Why do I have to be like this? An idiot who can't shut his mouth?"

"You're not an idiot." Laf sighed. "But this situation doesn't help my point."

"He could be dead by now, and it's all my fault." Alexander whimpered. "Everyone I get close to dies anyway."

Laf wrapped his arm around him. "Just... try and relax. Nothing is for certain yet."

"Thanks." Alexander said.

After a few minutes, Lafayette decided to go back out and start looking again. Alexander couldn't. He was scared that when they found Laurens, all they would find was his lifeless body. Everyone else had left the house again to look for Laurens at this point. Everyone except Alexander. He couldn't take it anymore. He went into the kitchen and searched through the drawers until he found what he was looking for. A knife. He took the knife in his hands and gripped it tight. Tears running down his face as he thought about what he had done. He had killed one brother before. Now he had killed another. 

"I'm sorry, James." He whimpered. "I'm sorry, Laurens."

He gripped the knife tightly and held it with his arms stretched out in front of him and the point facing towards him. "I'm not gonna hurt anyone else." 

He took a few deep breaths in let more tears fall down his face. He didn't know if he could go through with this, but after a few moments, he couldn't take the guilt anymore. In his mind, he needed to pay. "Raise a glass to freedom."

"Alexander!" Laurens yelled as he ran into the kitchen.

Alexander looked up at him. He was overwhelmed with joy. "Laurens?" He dropped the knife, trying to make sure Laurens didn't see, and ran over to him, wrapping his arms around him tightly. "I'm so sorry. My stupid mouth has no control. I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid. You're just... quick witted and a hot head. Those two don't really go well together." Laurens joked. 

"I thought you were dead. I thought I killed you." Alexander said.

"After everything I've been through, I think that might not be possible." Laurens joked again.

"I know I suck, but I could really use a sentence that's not sarcastic right now." Alexander asked.

"I'm alive. And I'm gonna be for some time." Laurens smiled.

"Thank you." Alexander whimpered. "What happened? Where did you go? Everyone was worried sick."

"I went to pick up my backpack from my dorm. I figured if I die, might as well have it with me. Alister was there though. I told him I was about to jump off a bridge and he tackled me. After some yelling everything went black." Laurens laughed. "But I guess a lump on the back of my head is better then my body in a coffin."

"But how did he get you to change your mind?" Alexander asked.

"Peggy and a lot of zip ties." Laurens said while nodding his head up and down.

"What?" Alexander questioned.

"Long story, I'll tell you later." Laurens laughed.

"Ok." Alexander laughed too.