Serendipity Series #1
How can I be his bestfriend, if my feelings for him is more than that..
How can I forget that I love him, Just to be his bestfriend.
How can I ignore the way he love her, If every second I wish I was me..
Can I keep this secret...
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Gideon POV
Sept 23 Friday - Two days before our 3rd Monthsary
I tried my best not to think about it, but I couldn't shake off this feeling. I have also seen changes in Mew's behaviors for the past few days. I don't know how I should react to this. Yes, he is the same in terms of his attention to me. Still, the same that will always say he loves me, but there is something different with Mew. I always find him thinking so deeply that I must shout at him just to get his attention again. I can tell that he has been hiding something from me. I tried asking him, but he always said it's nothing and I'm just imagining things.
But I know what I'm seeing! Sometimes, Mew will also go somewhere I don't know. It's been four days that we are not together when going home from work. Mew will always say that he must do something and ask me to just wait for him. I also saw him talking to someone on the phone, and maybe it was Sophia! Fuck! I don't like what is becoming of me! I'm becoming this paranoid person that always afraid of Mew's actions.
He looked so happy whenever he was on the call. I always hear them talking random stuff, laughing, and joking. Yesterday he even ignored me just because he was still talking to Sophia. Am I missing something? Am I overdramatic again?
We haven't been able to have sex for four days! Imagine that! Four fucking days! That horny guy was able to do that. I should be happy, right? Finally, I can have a little time to myself, but how can I do that when he is acting this way to me?
Yesterday, I ignored and let go of all my pride and tried to seduce him into having sex with me, but he just said he was so tired, which is true, but he had never done this before, no matter how tired he was!
Even though he was weary about work, he would never say no to our intimate moments. He is always the one who always initiates it, but I was so shocked that he could say no to me. To me! Who is his boyfriend? His boyfriend never tried to seduce him into doing it. It was always him who always asked me to do it. What change? Is he bored with me already? Did he realize that he doesn't want me anymore? I'm frustrated now!
That night, when he was asleep, I went to our restroom and cried all the hurt feelings I'd been trying to surface and ignore for the past few days. I don't know what I did! I don't want to lose him, but can I hold on to him? If in the first place, I'm the one who falls first, and I'm the one who gives myself first. I don't know what I will do if I lose him. I don't want to doubt him. I don't want to think that he is doing something behind my back. I don't want to lose my faith in him. I love him so much. Argh! It's so frustrating!
That is why I am here at our office, waiting for him to return from a meeting. I'm done today, so I would like to ask him to have dinner with me. A date, maybe? Maybe it will help us fix whatever was broken between us. Perhaps this is what we need to bring back the spark. I'm so desperate now. I don't care about my pride or ego anymore. I can't lose him. I need to do everything to make you stay with me. I already lost him once. I can't do it anymore.
