chapter 10

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Instead of going to the boarding house I went to my house. It is a three storie 5 bedroom. 6bathroom house. I walked in an turned on the light to the grand entre way the two chandeliers lit up and I set my bottles.that I just got from the same store. I still felt a pain in my chest. It just down a want to go away no matter how much alcohol I drink it just won't go away. It was almost morning the sun was just coming out. I walked to the window looking out into the lake. I then looked up to the balcony that went all the way around with doors that led to the bedrooms two set of stair cases one going up the other down. I walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Bringing a bottle to my lips. I gasped the pain went away. 20 minute later elena walked in. And let me tell you I WAS DRUNK. When she saw me she stopped and just started at me. I wasn't aware of Elijah behind the corner.

"Are you drunk?" Elena asked

"Yup. 2000 years and I finally cracked and I got drunk. You know how much pain I have been in. And speaking of pain I have had this felling like I am dying over and over again and just now like 20 minutes ago It stopped. I was so relived that I drank even more." I said rambling. "I was drinking at the grill talking to blue blue when he said I was drunk and cut me off for the night telling me I should go home... he's so nice to bad he is like the only surviving human in this town." I let out a laugh. "But then I started thinking home? What home? I never had a home... Yes I have had have boxes with furniture. But I have never had a home sense my brother got put under ground in a tomb... for over 2000 years.

"Maybe you should stop before you say something you regret." Elena said.

"You know when I first seen you I wanted to rip out your throat. Because my brother fell in lobe with the beginner of the doppelganger line. Atria wasn't the first amara was. But then I got to know you and you are nothing like her well... a little... but still now I can look at you and not want to torched you. I miss my family elena. I have tried killing myself over and over and over. Till one day I felt so much pain I locked myself in a cellar ate only vervain and slowly desiccated. Then... Then those stupid travelers showed up and fed me blood. They are sworn to keep silas in a tomb and me alive living my life... doesn't that suck?" I started to cry. "I can't feel anything anymore. Nothing. I feel nothing. And I hate it. Then elijah comes around and I could feel. I took all my strength to not kill all of you when you said you guys daggered him. And just like that."

"Just like what?" She asked.

"I am numb again... and I have a feeling that it us going to take more than seeing Elijah again to make that numbness go away. And I hate that.I can't do anything about it. So I throw myself into help people try to help get rid of the numbness. I traveled with both of the Salvatores because they are like brothers to me. But you know what elena?" I looked at her. "No matter how hard you try. Nothing while be good enough." I was shaking. I ran my fingers through my hair. I got up but before I could do any thing elena wrapped her arms around me in a hug. I stiffened not used to contact and then finally wrapped my arms around her. "Why are you here?" I asked her. She pulled away.

"I unearthed elijah." She said. I smiled. He then came out from behind the corner. I smiled at him. Half of the numbness went away but it was still there. Just like I thought.

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