Roommates...

I'm not okay

(Leah's pov)

Two week had gone by since Jordan came back from the hospital. The days went by slow, waking up early and not going to bed until it was really late.

I could feel it took a toll on my mental and physical well being, but I knew Jordan needed me right now, more than ever before, so I had to put her well being before mine.

We arrived at the training grounds an hour before my practice started so Jordan could go to the gym with my supervision, just in case anything happened.

I helped her do whatever she was doing, trying to keep my eyes open as time went by getting increasingly more difficult.

"That's enough for today." Jordan said as she got up from a machine and sat on her wheelchair.

I helped Jordan over to the physio, who wanted to check on her before I hurried and got my training gear on, with just a few minutes to spear as I jogged onto the field.

Usually when I wasn't doing well football always helped, but for some reason this time it didn't. My legs felt heavy every step I took while I was at the pitch. My mind couldn't focus for more than a few minutes before wandering off to Jordan.

"Leah!" I heard somebody shout before everything went black.

I woke up in an unknown room with a few people looking at me. "Where am I?" I asked looking around.

"We brought you into the doctor here. You blacked out while we were training." Joe said.

"How did that happen?"

"You got hit by a ball right in the face."

I pulled myself up, so I was sitting straight. I looked over at the clock. 11 am.

"Where's Jordan? She should be out of the physio by now." I said, starting to panic.

"Leah relax, she's fine. Right now I'm worried about you." Joe told me.

"Why? I'm fine."

"Leah, you're not fine. I can tell you've barely slept in the last two weeks, you can barely pass a ball. I just don't see Leah on the field, it seems to me like somebody took over your body." Joe said.

"I think you're exaggerating, I'm fine really." I repeated.

"Look Leah, acting like you're okay when you're not is not gonna help you or anybody around. I need to know what's wrong to help." He said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Okay fine, I might not be okay. I'm mentally and physically drained. I barely sleep, and don't rest for the whole day. I know it's not right for me to do that, but I can't help myself. I can't sleep because I'm scared Jordan might wake up in the middle of the night in pain and I will just be asleep. I spend the whole day taking Jordan to places, cooking, cleaning. I do everything so she doesn't have to."

"Leah, that's not good for you." Joe said, with pity in his eyes.

"I don't care if it's good or not. I want Jordan to be okay, and if that means me not being okay I'm fine with that." I snapped defensively.

"Why haven't you asked us for help then? You know all the girls would be more than happy to help, and so would the staff."

"Because I feel weak asking for help. I've grown used to going through everything alone. And while I know I can do it, I don't want anybody to have to do it." I said as I got up from the bed. "Look Joe, I appreciate you trying to help, but I don't need help. I'll get my focus right and I'll be just fine again." I said as I closed the door behind me.

I got changed and went over to the lounge room to find most of the girls still there.

"Hey are you okay?" Lisa asked as soon as she saw me.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about it, where's Jordan?"

"She's gone for a walk around with Viv and Jill." Lisa explained

"You sure you're fine? You know we're here for you if you need it." Kim said as she made a space for me on the couch.

"I've just been distracted the last week or two, but it's okay, I'll get over it." I said as I drank a glass of water.

"I don't believe you." Raven jumped in as everybody was about to buy it.

"What do you mean?" I asked, a bit shocked.

"I don't believe you're fine. Football is what keeps you going when you're not okay. But it's not now, so that means you're really not okay." She said as I lowered my gaze.

"Look into my eyes, and tell me you're okay." She said as she lifted my chin up.

"I'm- I'm o- I'm okay." I said as I looked back down.

"Look at me!" She told me.

"Okay I'm not fucking okay! I'm physically and mentally drained!" I finally spat out, before I started crying.

She brought me into a hug, while a few others joined in the hug.After I finished crying, I explained to the girls what was going on, and how it was getting through to even focus on something for more than a few minutes.

"Let's make a timetable! We'll all come over and help, getting Jordan here early, or making some lunch for both of you, whatever it is." Lisa said as she got a paper and pen out.

After 15 minutes of discussing stuff, the timetable was finally complete. She stuck it up beside the weekly plan with a big grin on her face.

"Well what do you want for lunch today'" She asked, putting her arm around me.

"You guys didn't have to do all this." I told them.

"We know, but we wanted to." Kim said.

"Are you okay?" Jordan asked me as she got through the door.

"Yep, better than fine." I said smiling at the girls.

"Okay good, I wanted to stay here for when you got out, but these two kidnapped me." She joked. "I tried to escape, don't get me wrong, but it didn't go very well." She said, making Viv and Jill laugh.

"Well you're not rid of them, we're going over to their place to have some lunch." I said as I pushed her back out of the door.

"What's the special occasion?"

"Well the girls want to help you out, so they made a weekly plan on what they could help you with, and now they're just gonna be following it for a few weeks."

"They didn't have to." Jordan said looking over at Lisa.

"I know, I told them the same, but they wanted to."

"Well that will help you stress less too, so I'm glad." She said, placing a kiss on my hand.