thirtyeight.

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I woke up pretty early, considering I had a late night yesterday. I told myself I wasn't going to do much today so that I could quickly get the day over and done with.

All I had on my agenda that day was to have breakfast and head to the cemetery. After that I could just head home, have a shower and order in some takeaway.

I got out of my bed and took some clothes i had previously matched in preparation for today.

After I took my shower, I prepared some scrambled eggs and sausages for breakfast. The same thing my father used to make for breakfast when he was still around. Even though he didn't know that I liked my eggs sunny side up, it was the thought that counts.

I placed the scrambled eggs next to the sausage on my white porcelain plate. Today was starting out well, I haven't had any bad breakdowns yet and it was already 10am. I just had 14 hours to go before this day ended.

I slowly polished off my plate and put it back into the sink. I got my phone that I had set on the kitchen counter and headed towards the door to leave for the cemetery.

"Y/N!" Tommy shouted from his house. I turned to look at him sitting on the walkway in front of a brown pot holding a book while Tubbo squatted next to him.

"Good morning boys, planting a flower I suppose?" I said as I walked towards their house.

"It's for my date after the show," Tubbo replied excitedly.

"If she picks love," Tommy added on. Tubbo looked back at Tommy and squinted his eyes at him passive aggressively.

"Okay I'll leave you two to figure it out, bye," I said turning around to walk away.

"Wait, do you want to join us for dinner later?" Tubbo cautiously as if he thought that question would make me break down. He knew how fragile my mood was on this day.

"Um, sure I'll see you guys at 7?" I turned back to say. The boy nodded at me as I turned around and unlocked my car to leave.

I drove in silence, listening to only the engine in my car running. Occasionally, there would be honking or the sound of motorcycles that passed by me.

At every red light, I watched as people of all ages walk across the traffic light going about their day. To them it may have just been another day, another day that passed where nothing special happened, another day to go to work, another day to live.

There will always be another day until you finally run out of time. Until all that's left is your lifeless body on a stretcher as medics rush you onto an ambulance. Until all that's left is a corpse for your family to bury under a grave and mourn over.

We weren't built in with a countdown machine to tell us how long more we had to live. We just had to wait around for the day we finally ran out of time.

I stopped my car in a parking lot in front of a flower shop. It was the same one I had been coming to these years. They were just conveniently there for me to stop by on the way to the cemetery, so I always took a stop to get some flowers.

"Hi dear, I've been waiting for you," The shop owner, Miss Evans, said to me while I opened the door. She had a bell on the door that would ring whenever the door opened.

"Hi," I answered with a small smile. She knew what day it was, since I'd come here only on this day every year. She would always prepare a small bouquet of flowers for me. Since I didn't really know what type of flowers they liked, I always just asked for white ones.

"Here you go dear," She said as she handed me a small bouquet of flowers.  I handed over two fifty dollar bills from my wallet and told her to keep the change. I knew she didn't have that much business as she was located in an awkward area, but she was passionate about her flowers so she never shut down the shop.

"You know dear, you seem a little happier this year. Did something change?" She asked as she put the bills into her cash register.

"Do I?" I asked with a hint of shock in my tone.

"Usually you're all moody and frowny when you come by, but today you seem more up beat," She replied leaning forward against the counter with her hands together.

"I guess I just have something to look forward to when I get home now," I said with a smile and left the shop.

I got back into my car and continued driving to the cemetery. The trip from here wasn't that long, I was there in five minutes.

I stepped out of my car and was instantly hit with a cold blast of wind. It wasn't quiet, there was the rustling of dried leaves and the sounds of birds in the sky.

"Hey mom, hey dad, life has improved since the last time I came by. I reconnected with Tommy, weird right? He now lives next next door again, so he's my neighbour again. Funny how everything went in a full circle, now we're back to square one," I said as I took a seat in front of the gravestones.

Of course I got no response from them, after all they couldn't just shout a response from their coffins. It's okay though, I liked to talk and they could just listen to me ramble on about my life. After all, they had no where else to be and neither did I.

It was kind of sad when I thought about it, the closest I would ever be to my parents was when they were not on this earth anymore. It made me think, in their last moments alive did they regret not spending more time with me?

"Remember Izzy? She got married to that guy Jacob, I was a bridesmaid at their wedding. There was where I saw Tommy for the first time in four years too," I said looking at both of their gravestones. I hesitated then continued.

"I was wondering, who's going to walk me down the aisle on my day? On behalf of dad," I questioned. Of course there was no response. Why would there be, that would just be weird. It was a valid question though, I didn't know who was going to be there for me on my big day.

I continued to talk about my life, until it seemed like a good time to leave.

"Goodbye, next time I come I'll bring someone else," I said kneeling next to them and putting my hand on their gravestones.

I walked back to my car and called Tubbo to ask him about dinner plans and if I needed to buy anything home on the way.

"No, Tommy's cooking you can just come home," He said oddly loud.

"Buy back some McDonald's or something, I have a feeling this won't go well," He then whispered softly into the phone.

"Okay," I said with a giggle as I headed over to the closest McDonald's restaurant near me.

1235 words

A/N: sorry for only posting one chapter today, I didn't think anyone would read any stories today because of Christmas :) Anyway merry christmas!!! <33

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