𝖣𝖾𝗍𝗋𝗂𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖺𝗅 𝖢𝗈𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇 [on hold]

27 | he lost

XXVII / twenty-seven

✧𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐂𝐀✧

A part of me breaks.

After those words enter through my ears, I instantly break down. I don't need to hear any other word, nor any explicit term to understand what has happened.

"Why?! Why did you leave me?!" his mother weeps.

I spin on my heels and my head hits hard against Hunter's chest. He embraces me as if he was ready for this to come.

I don't hug him, I just turn around with my hands on my cheeks so my folded arms end up touching his chest. I can't feel my body.

If there were any open windows in the house I would say that the wind stole my voice, but since there are none, I say that my own pain does it. My mouth is open as it were to scream, still, all that comes out is drowned out by whizzing. Drowned by the tears that relentlessly fall down my face.

His arms hold me, he wraps his strong arms around me that I haven't touched in so long, though they still feel so usual to me. "Kade!" I say, whisper.

My knees fumble, and slowly start to give out on me. As my body lowers to the floor, Hunter does the same, still holding me. It follows to me being cradled over his lap.

My head rests on his chest, and like a miracle, all the bad he did to me fades away. I forget about him yelling at me, I forget about him drunk,  and with another girl. All I care about now is what exactly occurred to Kade.

At this moment, I feel like a part of the mess that's in the house.

"I tried so hard to be a good mother. Why would want to take your own life, son?!" She exclaims and my lungs could be more clung. "C'mon, come back to me!"

I struggle to drag air to my lungs as my brain begins to process those words. It can't possibly be what I am thinking, it can't. I would know. I should have known.

I want to know what happened. I want to know how it happened and why it happened.

But, I can't. I can't stay here. By all means, if I don't get out of here soon I fear this hurt will begin to haunt me and pass on to be physical.

Hence, I sniffle and pull my body up by tugging my fingers over Hunter's grey flannel and thrusting his shoulders down.

As fast, yet quiet as I make possible, I run. Escaping from Mrs. Spencer's cries.

Spencer, that's what I used to call him when I got angry. He always thought it was cute of me. Now he doesn't think at all. He's gone.

I push past the door with my sight blurred by tears, I can't stop the teardrops from pouring out of my eyes, nonetheless, I keep running.

Not until my feet ache and I'm on the field of flowers where I once took Hunter.

I collapse under the biggest tree I find and hug my legs. I haven't taken anyone other than Hunter here and I regret it. I should have brought Kade instead. I was with him for almost a year, yet it never crossed my mind to introduce to him my special space.