apartment 17 || xxxtentacion

xx

cynthia's pov

my head was laid in jahseh's lap as he played with my hair. when jahseh officially asked me to be his girlfriend earlier that morning, i was completely shocked. i knew we both shared the same feelings for each other but i had expected him to leave me after finding the bottles and the coke. i was a little disappointed i hadn't put the drugs away last night. i hated to admit it but the drugs made me feel good. it allowed me to just let go. now i know why the man had said he would see me again.

i would be lying if i said that i hadn't planned on meeting hum again for more. the minute the wave of relaxation kicked in, i was hooked. i longed for that feeling of relief and i had finally found something to relieve me. i wouldn't ever tell jahseh this though.

i barely remembered the night i had snorted the white powder. i remember the feeling of relaxation and then closing my eyes. what occurred after that is a complete mystery. all i know is it involved a whole bottle of tequila that, from what it smelled like, ended up on my bed sheets as well. i made a mental note to wash them later.

my head felt cloudy and my lips felt puffy; jahseh had gotten a little passionate with his kisses earlier. i finally felt content with our relationship, so i was completely okay with it. that was his way of showing that he cared about me and wanted the best for me. we had been talking for close to two months at this point but u felt like i had known him for years. i felt like i connected to him; we both had our struggles. the only difference is, jahseh conveyed them through his music. i hid them away from the world.

i was snapped out of my thoughts when jahseh began waving his hand in front of my face.

"earth to cynthia? are you dead?" he asked, laughing a little. i cracked a smile at hum and began okaying with the end of one of his dreads.

"i'm alive, but i'm dead," i replied, copying a video he made.

"did you even hear a single thing i was talking to you about?" he asked quizzically.

"no kap, i completely zoned out. i'm so sorry," i said bluntly. i grabbed the bridge of his nose and shook his head. there was a smile playing at his lips, despite the frustrated demeanor he tried to portray to me. i giggled lightly at him and he sighed.

"south by southwestern is next month. i was wondering if you wanted to come with me and the gang?" he restated.

"yea sure, when is it?" i asked

"june sixteenth through the twentieth." i had completely forgotten it was may. summer was so close.

"sounds great, how much are the tickets?" i asked him. money was tight but i didn't want him to pay.

"don't worry about the price, i gotchu." he said quickly.

"jah. how much are the tickets?" i asked again, a little forceful this time.

he sighed, "$175."

fuck. that's a lot of money.

"but i'm paying for your ticket," he added quickly.

"i can pay for it on my own, you know?" i replied. i felt bad having him pay for my ticket. i didn't want him to think i was using him.

"no cynthia, i'm paying for your ticket." he said sternly.

"yes, sir," i said, pretending to salute him. he immediately smirked at me and i realized where i had went wrong. my face went beet-red.

"you might wanna rethink your words, love" he said, winking at me. "you're making it very hard to take this slow," he added, gently tracing his finger along my bottom lip.

"jahseh..." i said sternly. as much as i wanted this to progress, i had to put it to an end. it was still too soon.

"sorry, baby. i cant help myself sometimes," he whispered in my ear. i felt goosebumps travel down my arms. i quickly got up, trying to prevent him from seeing the effect he had on me. i quickly walked over to the kitchen to act like i was getting food. he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"jahseh, we cant." i breathed out.

"i know. i just like getting you worked up." he mumbled against my neck. i subconsciously turned my neck to give him easier access, but instead he let go of my waist. he walked in the direction of the door.

"i'll be back in an hour. wear something nice, were going out tonight." he said before leaving

well, this was sudden.

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i stood in the mirror to check my outfit out. i had no idea where jahseh wanted to take me, so i wore a simple black off the shoulder dress with some heels. i hope i hadn't dressed up too much or too little. you never knew with jahseh.

i grabbed my phone and wristlet and stepped out into the hallway, locking my door behind me. i heard loud footsteps coming from jahseh's apartment. suddenly, the door swung open and jahseh stepped out. he stopped in his tracks when he saw me leaning against the wall. he slowly walked over to me and placed his hands on my hips. he practically towered over me, which imitated me even more.

"isn't this a surprise; you're actually ready for once," he said, laughing lowly.

"i hope you like it" i said shyly, playing with the skirt of my dress. i don't know what it was about him today but he really intimidated me.

"love, you're making it very hard for me right now..." he said, staring me in my eyes.

"and why's that?" i questioned. i wanted to see where this would go. he leaned in to my ear.

"all i want to do is lift up that pretty little dress of yours and fuck you right here in this hall."

fuck.