apartment 17 || xxxtentacion

xxxiii

cynthia's pov

i adjusted my dress as i sat in the back of the sprinter the boys had insisted that we rent. today was the last full day i had with them before tour. it was completely bittersweet; we were spending our last night together celebrating but i knew that the sunrise would come with goodbyes and tears.

i shook off the thoughts of what would come in the morning as i watched jahseh try to do a pole dance on the pole in the middle of the sprinter. jahseh said the pole was worth the extra money. everyone broke out in laughter as jahseh tried to spin around sexily, obviously failing.

we all clapped once he finished and he shuffled back to where i sat. he plopped himself down and leaned into my side, out of breath. that's what he gets for smoking all the time.

"don't quit your day job, babe." i teased, poking his side.

"i'd like to see you do better." he replied.

"i would, but i think we should save that for tonight." i smirked at him. his eyes widened and he bit his lip.

"calm down lover boy." i laughed at his reaction.

"you cant say those things and expect me not to get excited." he groaned. i shrugged.

"that's not gonna change the fact that you're gonna have to wait."

"i knowwww." he whined. i placed a kiss on his cheek and went back to watching stokeley as he tried out his pole routine. he had his signature bucket on his head as he spun around. this boy was really something else, how'd he even bring that thing in here without us noticing. isaiah was sitting beside coolie recording the whole thing while ming was cheering stokeley on.

i was going to miss these moments.

we arrived at the club and immediately began piling out. jahseh kept his arm around my waist as he led me into the club.

i'm gonna get us drinks. follow the others back to the booth." he said into my ear. i nodded and followed stokeley to the booth they had reserved. i sat down beside stokeley, leaving room next to me for jahseh.

"are yall nervous for tomorrow?" i asked them.

"hell yeah not gon lie." isaiah laughed. jahseh arrived with the drinks on a small metal tray. he placed the tray down in the muddle of the table and say down next to me. jahseh passed me a drink and i took a generous sip from it.

we had made an agreement that we could drink but it would be limited. we had both worked so hard to relieve ourselves from the dependency we had on drugs and alcohol. i hadn't abused alcohol since that night jahseh had found me passed out in my room. and, as far as i knew, jahseh hadn't done any hard drugs since i found the xanax in his room.

i was really proud of him but i was still concerned that he wouldn't fall back into old habits on tour. he assured me that we would be good for me. i trusted him.

"come dance," jahseh said into my ear. i nodded and followed him out onto the dance floor where dozens upon dozens of other people were. we slipped into the crowd and found an open area. jahseh held onto my waist as we danced together.

i remembered the night he had found me here. that was the first night i had really gotten to see the true him. not the drunk apartment-party crazy boy who all the girls in the complex had asked questions about.

i had done something those girls had been dying to do; i had gotten past all the smoke and found the real jahseh. the one who loved pasta food and practically died if i didn't cuddle up to him at night. he was a lot less intimidating on the inside than he seemed on the outside.

i knew for a fact that one of the things i was going to miss would be his touch. it was like electric and i craved it. i wasn't sure how i was going to last two months without him. it scared me how dependent i was to him. it scared me how dependent i was to him. heaven only knows how i'm going to cope.

we continued dancing, out bodies grinding against each other, in the midst of other people. i couldn't care less; it was like we were the only ones who existed in my eyes in this moment.

"if you're gonna keep on dancing like that against me, we might just have to leave right now." jahseh growled in my ear with his hands gripped tightly against my waist.

"who said we had to wait?" i replied with a smirk. he immediately grabbed my hand and pulled out his phone to text stokeley. he quickly typed out a text to tell him we were leaving. we briskly left the club and jahseh flagged down a cab. we slipped into the back of the car and gave the address to the driver. jahseh sat with his hand squeezing my thigh. he kept on looking me up and down. i felt good.

we arrived at our loft and jahseh quickly handed the driver the money. we both slipped out of the car and headed for the door, fumbling inside. i could feel a bit of the alcohol in my system but it wasn't enough to be drunk my body just felt a little loose.

as soon as we got in the door, jahseh had me pressed up against the wall as he kissed me hungrily. i tangled my hands in his hair as i kissed him back passionately. i felt his hand skin down my side to the bottom of my dress.

"there's a zipper." i pulled away, put of breath. his eyes lit up.

"i want to do it." he said excitedly. it was quite endearing to see him get excited over a zipper.

i laughed and turned around, moving my hair out of the way so it wouldn't get caught. he slowly unzipped the dress, freeing me from the tight fabric. i turned around to see him biting his lip as i slipped out of the dress. i had luckily remembered to wear my matching black lace set of underwear. jahseh had told me before how much he loved it when i wore them.

"fuck." he whispered, causing me to smirk at his reaction. he bent down and picked me up swiftly. he carried me up the stairs to our bed. he gently placed me down on the bed and crawled on top of me. i closed my eyes as he kissed along my collarbones and down my chest. my hands found their way into jahseh's hair as he furthered himself down. i felt him touch up against the place i desired most, which only increased my need for him.

"you sure you want to do this?" he paused.

"jahseh, i need you." i whined. it was almost like a spark ignited in his eyes when he heard that.

"beg for me baby." he growled, looking up at me devilishly.

"please jah, i want you so bad."

"good girl..."