it ends now
warning suicide and self harm
........................................................................
(melody pov)
Shit I wish I could've said that, yeah I can move on with my life but the reality is that it's all fucked up and I don't think it's gonna get better. Maybe one day it will get better at least that's what I hoped since I was a stupid kid. There's a war inside my head and my soul has been tainted with poison...
The endless guilt and pain has driven me mad.
It's been a week since I told Klaus about my past, a week of avoiding his calls and not getting out of bed. Depression has wrapped itself around my weak body and will not let go. My head has become clouded with thoughts of death yet again and as I fall deeper into the endless abyss of chaos I let it swallow me whole...
Maybe this is for the best, maybe it's time to just end it.
I typed fast as tears filled my eyes, what was I writing and to whom?
its simple really i wrote my suicide note and an apology to those i have hurt the most. I pushed send on my laptop and sent the note to Elliot.
I stood up and entered the bathroom and locked myself in. getting in the tub filled with water as i swallowed the sleeping pills and closed my eyes...
Waiting for death to arrive and tear my soul out of my body leaving it hollow and empty.
(ELLIOT POV)
I laid in bed as my body ached and my mind wandered with unwanted thoughts. Music blasting around me making it hard to hear yet I was startled half to death when my laptop's notification rang making me sit up and stand up, shut off the music and opened up the notification. My eyes widened when I read the email...
As I read the note my stomach turned upside down and my heart shattered. My body tensed up as tears filled my eyes. I stumbled fast and nearly tripped over my feet as I was trying to run out of my room. I ran down the stairs and out the door. I didn't bother with the car, I just ran and ran all the way there. My chest burned and my lungs breathed in the cold air as my feet bounced off of the ground, I felt light as a feather as I pushed myself to run faster...
her words replayed within my head
I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE
I TRIED I REALLY DID BUT I CANT BREATH ANYMORE, I DON'T FEEL ALIVE ANYMORE, I WANT IT STOP I NEED IT TO STOP. PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE.
I'M SO SORRY FOR HURTING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY , I WISH I COULD GO BACK IN TIME BUT I CAN'T. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU. I CAN'T KEEP GOING NOT AFTER EVERYTHING, I CANT LIVE WITH THIS GUILT ANYMORE. I THOUGHT I COULD LIVE WITH IT BUT I CAN'T, I FEEL LIKE I'M DROWNING.
HE SHOULD HAVE LIVED INSTEAD OF ME. I'M SORRY I TOOK HIM FROM YOU.
I WROTE THIS TO SAY I'M SORRY AND TO SAY GOODBYE
It ends now.
Her words flooded my mind making it difficult to think straight. I made it to her house, breaking the door down took nearly all my energy away. I looked around but she was nowhere in sight until my bare feet became wet with water. My eyes followed the spilled water to its source and I rushed inside the bathroom to find her there...
My heart sank as I came to the realization of what was happening right in front of me. I hurried and got her unconscious body out of the tub. My eyes burned with fresh tears as I examined her. Her breathing was shallow and her skin was pale. I laid her on the floor and figured she must have swallowed water and then I saw the pill bottle on the floor. I stuck my fingers down her throat until her eyes snapped open and she began to gag...
With my heart racing and my hands trembling with fear and anger I held her weak body closer to me even though she cried and tried to get free from my grasp...
"your an idiot why, fuck why?"
My words exposed the fear in my tone to her yet she kept quiet and stopped fighting allowing me to hug her. My words turned into muffled cries as I began sobbing uncontrollably.
i held her as i cried afraid of letting go as if she would break into pieces
That's when I realized I whispered i love you to her while I held her.
I love her.
.........................................................................
A/N
IF YOUR ARE STRUGGLING WITH DEPRESSION OR SELF HARM PLEASE GET HELP YOU ARE NOT ALONE
YOU ARE WORTH LIVING IN THIS WORLD PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP.
YOU ARE READING
Ą poisonous kiss 💋(Book-1)
Romance"Loving two souls will destroy me." As a child she loved them both, however her mistakes caused utter chaos to unfold. In her adolescents she fell apart slowly and when faced with her past her unhealed heart shattered once more. And as a young adult...
