Ą poisonous kiss 💋(Book-1)

chapter-23

☆Bitter love☆

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(Elliot pov)

To love a broken soul is to become one yourself

Is it toxic?

Loving someone, needing that person in your life to simply go on with your day. Wanting to do nothing but hold them and roll them up into a sushi roll of blankets when they are sad. Cooking their favorite meal and watching movies together. It all sounds wonderful, and yet can it really be ours for the taking?...

She was my first kiss. That sweet girl who was shy and so fragile that I wanted nothing but to be her protector and lover. I wanted a life with her, and it was all torn away from me. And now many years later after that tragedy it could all be possible again...

But the question remains.

Should I keep trying?

Do I deserve her?

What if she's right? and I end up waking up one day to realize I hate her.

Love can be amazing however when there's pain involved it can be easier to let go of that love. We fear that if we keep holding onto it, it's just going to end up destroying us....

I wiped off the sweat that poured from my forehead as my body tried to keep warm. Fuck I muttered to myself as I didn't have the strength to get out of bed. I am so tired of fighting honestly if I am being completely honest with myself. I am tired of life itself. This sickness will eventually kill me and yet I just want to end it right now. However, I keep fighting because I want to see Melody happy...

And because I have to make her happy before it's too late...

Yet her words replayed in my head, and it began to make sense to me. I understand her fears and I fear them too yet my heart beats uncontrollably whenever we are near each other. Everything in my life has been fucked up and if there's a chance of love and happiness then so be it. Yet can I really love the girl that my own brother loved and ended up killing himself for? When I came back, I never thought that I would fall in love once again...

I honestly wanted to destroy her and yet my heart broke when I found out that she was in a bubble of sorrow that she couldn't get out of. Truth be told, both her and my brother were very similar to one another. They were fragile and naive as children, they also had intense emotional feelings within themselves. I remember one day specifically that made me realize they were so alike I remember the jealousy I felt that day...

We were just children playing a game of hide and go seek. When we started hearing yelling coming from our house. Our parents were once again fighting, and I remember my brother nearly crying because he didn't want to hear them yell anymore. I remember he ran to the neighbor's house to find Melody. They were hugging each other so tightly because they both knew the pain of having parents who did nothing but yell and hate each other. I would ignore it, yet I couldn't bring myself to let my pain be shown especially to Melody. She was so beautiful that I couldn't be the one to let her smile disappear from her face. Yet he was however the one to always be sensitive and overly comforting...

Something I wasn't.

The jealousy I felt each time they would hug and cry to one another was enough to make me hate them. For a short time, I stopped talking to Melody. Soon after that my brother shared his feelings for her and soon after that our selfish desires drove us to overlook everything and everyone. That kiss we shared on the frozen lake was seen by a few kids including my overly sad brother who decided it was okay to kill himself days later...

It makes me sick to my stomach to have witnessed him lying on the floor. His heart no longer beating. His pale face and to had wondered how long was he gone for? Why didn't my parents find him sooner? They should have known something was wrong with him. He was always sad and would lash out in hot anger. He even cut himself once. We should have known. I should have known something was wrong, yet I chose her over him...

I don't deserve her or him.

I am a piece of shit.

I'm worthless.

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(Melody pov)

My mind was cloudy and fuzzy as I inhaled the smoke that traveled into my lungs. I sat outside of my apartment smoking a blunt as the wind blew strong signaling that a storm was arising. Life is chaotic with its upside-down love and death bullshit. The events of two nights ago are still fresh in my memories. How on earth do we keep ending up like this? When we both know that it could never become a reality...

This love story doesn't exist anymore, it never did. And yet my heart and body crave to be his...

I just simply don't see us working. If only my heart and feelings knew that they would stop trying. It hurts so bad to be pushing him away and for him to keep restraining me. He doesn't want to give up, yet I already did. Because unlike him I lost hope...

What do I do?

I don't know anymore

I sigh as a tear rolled down my cheek I wiped away before I stood up only for the front door to open and Elliot came to my view...

"Do you want me to leave?".

His voice sounded raspy, and his eyes were puffy. He looked exhausted and beyond sick. He looked so fragile that it drove me mad...

My breath hitched as the effect of weed overthrew the little brain power I had left, probably altering my decision making and I ended up smacking my lips against his...

Fuck everything.

I pulled away then hugged him.

"I love you. Stay with me"

I say to him as my entire point of view shifted into a possibility of happiness. Yet I did not let my guard down as I had a feeling that we were making a mistake and maybe I should have pushed him away, maybe it would have hurt less to let him go instead of holding onto a love that would just end in despair...

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Love is difficult and beautiful at the same time.

A/N.

The question is simple.

Is love worth fighting for?.

Please leave a comment with your opinion.