Being a Banner [ 1 of JA ]

30

It was Sunday, and to make the day even better, Dad told me I was going to have to go back to school once and for all. Just as I was going to protest, Dad had walked away and back to his room. I guess he was just too tired to argue. Dalia gave me her phone number just in case anything happened or I felt the need to give her a call. I'm debating asking her soon if she and Dad might become a thing. She's handling her partner being a giant green monster very well.
      Maybe if I knew how much damage the Other Guy can actually do, it'd be a start to taming him, that way I can practice leading him to not hurt anything or anyone. It's just kind of a draft I have in my head, a small plan. Though, with nothing in the apartment (hopefully with nothing here) I can't find time to see the Other Guy face-to-face.
      I was watching TV when there was a knock at the door. A part of me hoped it was Jax, and then another part of me hoped it was nobody. And another part asks why I even care if it was Jax. Then I froze a bit, thinking it was the landlord. Did we track too much dirt in from Friday? Did it lead up to here?

      All my suspicions went away when I found Levi standing at the door, smiling like the goof he is. I was amazed because I sometimes think he can't function without me or Jax by his side. Maybe that's why he's here?
      "Hellooo Banner!" Levi says very loudly as he steps into my apartment.
      "Shhh! Keep it down, I'm pretty sure my Dad's asleep." I retort, closing the door behind me. "What do you want?" Levi's eyes widen a bit, and I realize what I had just said. "Sorry. I'm tired."
      Levi chuckles quietly, "Jax and I are hanging out Friday, and you're kind of acting like a ghost, so you're coming along no matter what."
I roll my eyes, "The ghost will have to think about it."
Levi laughs as I open the door, "Well, shoot me a text if you're in."
      "Will do." I'm just about to turn around and close the door when Levi has more to say.
      "Hey," Levi says, turning around in the hallway, "Everything okay lately?"

      No. Dad turns into a huge giant green monster when he's angry, I might be turn into a huge giant monster when I'm angry, and I'm not suppose to say anything, but since you are my best friend I would.
      "Yeah," I lie.
      "Are you sure? Before I came down here Jax said something abo — "
      "Jax? Wait — why did you bring up Jax?" I ask Levi as I lean on my doorframe, arms crossed. Levi's brown eyes widen at his own mistake, but then he wears a cheesy smile and fake laughs.
      "I didn't. . . You brought him up. Why did you bring up Jax?" Levi says, hands on his hips.
      "I didn't, you did." I retort, straightening my posture. Levi laughs, shaking his head full of dark curls.
      "Alright, for real, Kerry, why did you bring him up?" Levi asks.
      "I didn't! You did!" I laugh, "You were to first to — "
      " — In love with him or something?" Levi asks.

      I stopped, speechless and grossed out. "Hell no." I asked Levi, "Are you in love with him?"
      "I'm not the one who brought him up — "
      "Please leave." I smile. Levi nods in agreement, a smile on his face, as he waves goodbye and begins to walk towards the elevator. "Tell Jax I said hi."
      "I'm not going to Jax's." Levi replies as he presses the down button on the elevator repeatedly.
      I laugh, "Yes you are." Levi finally stepped in the elevator, smiling like a goof once more. He waves before the doors finally close, making him disappear two floors down. I closed the door, locked it, then placed my head against it. I sighed deeply as I lifted my head to wipe the tears forming at my eyes.

Dad was right. It was hard not to tell them, because I knew they'd keep it a secret. Though I couldn't risk getting them hurt or in big trouble. These check-ups they're giving me absolutely suck, because it's obvious as hell that I'm lying, and yet they don't push it. That's fine too, they're being good friends, but just once I want them to say something in front of Dad about how I was doing. Maybe it'd scare Dad, or he'll finally give in to telling them.
Even though I wished hard for that, I knew it wouldn't work. I mean, it took three or so years for Dad to actually take a break and get to actually know me again.

*****

"Kerry," Dad had said to me one night after a long car ride from my uncle's house. "I need to talk to you about something — and I don't want you to get scared or upset." I had been walking to the hallway to go to my room, but stopped right before jumping off the platform that'd lead into the hallway from the living room.
"Well, now I'm scared and upset." I told him, giggling as I brushed a strand of hair from my face. My hair was just below my shoulders at the time, possibly the shortest I'll ever keep it. My voice was a bit higher too, considering I was twelve at the time.
"Please, don't be." Dad said softly, eyes filled with sorrow.
I was confused as to why he looked so upset and uneasy. He motioned me to walk back his way. As I approached him half in the kitchen, he moved to me and squatted down to my eye level. I was also still extremely short at the time. "Promise me you won't be mad and upset." He said, voice scratchier than usual.
"I promise." I said, my turn to look and feel uneasy.

Dad put his hands on my shoulders, angling me to look at him. "So, I've been thinking about it, and talking it over with your uncle — "
"We're getting a dog?" I smiled. Dad stopped, finally having a smile cross his face.
"No, no, babe," He chuckled nervously. "I wouldn't have asked you not to be upset if we were getting a dog." I nodded in understanding as Dad sighed and shook his head. "Ive been thinking really hard about this, and how it'd affect you. I don't want you to get scared, but what you might have to do may be scary."
Hesitantly, I asked, "What is it?" Dad smiled small, but his eyes held all the sadness.
"You're going to have to walk to school alone, because I'm going to get a job." Dad said lowly. I remember my eyes wide with fear as tears quickly filled them up. I was shaking my head as the tears fell down my cheeks. Dad was whispering and telling me everything was going to be fine.

"Everything is not fine if I have to walk to school alone!" I shouted at him as I moved out from his grip.
"I didn't mean all alone, just without me!" Dad said, "You can still walk with Levi and Jax — "
"But how will I get into the apartment? Who's going to make dinner or help me with homework?" I exclaimed.
"I will! As soon as I get home — "
"Where's the job?" I asked him.
"In a big building, I'll be a scientist. It's actually just a few minutes away from the high school — "
"You're a scientist?" I asked, staring Dad up and down. For someone with untamed curly brown hair, a scruff, a lot of grey t-shirts and jeans, I never would've thought of him as a scientist. That was until my uncle, aunt, and cousin were over one night. My uncle was going on and on about how genius Dad was, and that he was true to his profession. The days leading up to Dad getting the job was me staying up late and wishing on a star that he never got it. It's safe to say that the wish never came true, because three days later, Dad was working, and I was walking alone to and from school.

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