Being a Banner [ 1 of JA ]

41

I smiled big as my thumbs dance across the screen of my phone.

Me: How could you not cry during Toy Story 3? That has one of the most saddest cinematic scenes in all of film history
Jax: it was sad just not a tear jerker
Jax: Disney will never let a main character die much less a franchise die like that
Me: pretty sure John Smith dies in Pocahontas 2
Jax: Pocahontas 2 is NOT a Disney movie because it went straight to DVD I'm sure of it
Jax: straight to DVDs suck
Me: Peter Pan 2 was great!!
Jax: HELL NO
Jax: DONT GRT ME STARTED
Me: But peter saw Wendy again!
Jax: Wendy left her ass back in England to grow up and left peter in the dust. The mermaids should've drowned her when they had the chance
Me: Jesus Christ Jax
Jax: I mean \_(- __ -)_/

I laugh and roll over on my bed, holding my phone over my face. Suddenly, I hear Dad call me from the living room. As I roll off my bed I walk out into the hallway and enter the living room.
"What are you laughing at?" Dad asks. He sits on the couch drinking coffee and watching TV.
"Jax," I giggle. Dad smiles and rolls his eyes.
"You've fallen hard for him,"
"Not too sure about that!" I exclaim. "The feelings are still figuring themselves out."
Dad chuckles, "Well, maybe those feelings can come to an agreement when you, Jax, Dalia and I have a fun walk at the park next Saturday. Or if that's too weird then don't."
"I mean, I don't think it's weird, but maybe I'll ask Levi to come along. I don't want him to feel left out like Jax and I are leaving him." I explain. "I'll text both of them now,"
As I start texting in our trifecta group chat, I see Dad's eyes stare at me, his expression a little sad. I look up at him, putting my phone down immediately.
"Dad, is something wrong?" He sighs and puckers his lips, nodding softly.
"I want to apologize for not apologizing to you the night I told you about The Other Guy. You didn't deserve to be in the dark about the situation, but I'm so scared that one of these days I'm going to hurt you. If I do I don't think I could ever get over that," he says.
      "Dad," I say softly, "it's okay—"
      "It's really not," he says sharply. "For fourteen years you've been lied to, and I was scared that if you knew from a young age I'd have to distance myself from you; I never wanted that."
      "I will always be here for you, Dad," I take a long pause. "You fall, I fall," Dad smiles, but it fades away as he rests his chin on top of his folded hands.
      "You really think your plan is working? That the Other Guy likes you and listens to you, or that you see me in him?" He asks.
      "Dad, he didn't kill me the first time we met, and the second time I'm sure you being there in his eyes did something. I'm not sure what but I feel really good about it." I smile small.
      "I can't lose you—"
      "And you won't, ever," I say sharply.
      "What if the next time the Other Guy won't respond or understand?"
      "Then he can fight me," I say. I meant it as a joke, but the fear in Dad's eyes told me it was a huge mistake. "Dad, I'm kidding—"
"And what of it really happens? What if you die?"
"What if I don't because. . .because—"
"Because what?!"
"Because I'm just like you!" I scream. "Maybe I'm some green monster too! I might have some green monster gene and I just haven't grown into it yet!"
Dad is now standing from the couch, his eyes covered by his hands as he sighs deeply. "Please, don't say that,"
"What do you want me to tell you then?" I ask. "You want me to call you a villain? A monster? Something you're not? Do you want to feel like the bad guy?"
"What makes you think you can talk to me like this?" Dad snaps.
     My hands go to my forehead, suppressing an incoming headache. I sigh as I move to the coat rack and grab the first coat I see.
      "What do you think you're doing?" I hear Dad's footsteps approaching behind me as I throw the coat over my shoulders. "Where do you think you're going?"
      "The hell away from you!" I scream as I push through the apartment door.
I didn't hear him following me as I walked to the elevator. He wasn't on the next one after I entered the lobby. Dad wasn't chasing me out the doors.

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Damn these chapters are somewhat cringe but that's why I edit!!
I can't wait to edit the next few chapters until a certain few come up!! Super excited but tired why did I have to write 70 freaking chapters. Thanks 6th grade me :''')