Being a Banner [ 1 of JA ]

40

As the sun sets, Jax takes me to the park. We had set the blanket he packed in the big basket under a willow tree. Most of the food was gone, I tried not to let my stress eating habit show.
"I love this park," Jax says, watching everyone have fun. People were throwing frisbees, children play tag and teenagers skate through the trails.
"Me too," I say just to agree. This didn't feel like us. I wasn't Kerry and he wasn't Jax, the two best friends. I wanted to fake illness, call Dad and tell him to pick me up pronto.
"I used to be afraid of this park," Jax laughs. "I used think there were monsters in the bushes, and I wouldn't go near the swing sets, not even with my mom,"
My dad turns into this ginormous green monster. It's scary, but I'm handling it well. He's been this way ever since he had an experimental accident. Sometimes I wonder if one day he'll kill me, but that's my subconscious talking. My dad would never hurt me, but I fear he closer I try to get to helping out his green beast the farther I get from the father I knew. He had so many secrets, and he kept them all locked up for me, to keep me safe and I feel like I owe him so much—
"I used to be afraid of monsters too," I say, which wasn't a complete lie. "I used to be deathly afraid of thunder and lightning storms. Dad told me it was this man in the sky who controlled it all, like he was saying 'Hi' to me."
      Jax smiles wide, "Awe, that's adorable,"
      "I was always a nuisance waking him up at two in the morning." I laugh. "Some nights I wondered if he ever got mad at me for walking in. I had gotten over my fear of thunder storms, but I liked being near him, because when you're small you think your parents could move like mountains. I was convinced that Dad could move continents for me."
      Jax smiles as his eyes drag down to his feet, which are stretched out in front of him, where I sit crisscrossed.
      "Can I ask you something? Stop me if it's a little too personal," he says. Okay, you shared something personal, his turn. This is better, personal is better. We're talking. This is Kerry and Jax.
      "You think it's just going to be you and your dad? Forever? Like, I don't care about my dad—never met him, and I don't want to, but if I did. . ." Jax's jaw clenched, and I grew scared. His fist was clutching the blanket. It was the first time I ever saw him mad. Like, mad mad, not Levi-is-being-annoying-today-mad. This was different from the time he got a really bad grade on an essay. This wasn't Jax.
      "Are. . .are you asking what I'd do if my mom showed up?" I ask. He closed his eyes and nod, like he was regretting asking.
      "It's just a thought, because I wonder how someone so cold and stupid leave someone as amazing and kind as my mom," he says, the shakes his head. "I shouldn't have brought this up at all, I'm sorry. I've been super nervous about tonight, I'm talking like we're friends—"
      "I like this," I tell him. "Couples talk like they're friends." I scoot a little closer to him. "I'm not sure what I'd do. Heck, let alone would dad would do,"
      "Bruce could never hurt a fly," Jax smiles. "You both have the quality of being so gentle and nice to other people, especially jackasses like Sharon—until you kicked the shit out of her—"
      "People are calling her a bitch and it makes me sad," I say, face palming myself.
      "I bet you Bruce Banner has said those same exact words one time during his life," Jax chuckles. I laugh and slap his arm playfully. We laugh, but then it turns into silence except for the birds chirping and people running around the park.
"Why did you ask me out?" I ask.
He raises an eyebrow at me and smiles. "I already told you: you're funny, smart and kind—"
"But there's a billion people out there who are smart, funny and kind," I say.
"And out of all billions and billions I want you," he says. Holy shit.
My face turns pink as my heart begins to beat.
"Y-You want me?"
"I'd rather be with you than anyone else,"
Oh my God. He just—and I just—my heart—
"I like being around you," I tell him. "You make me happy." And it was the truth.
Jax smiles and nervously chuckles. "I wouldn't be the person I am now without you," I smile and brush a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "We should get a move on!" Jax jumps up from the blanket, placing our trash in the picnic basket.
"Where are we going?" I ask.

*************

"Wow, look at the stars," Jax says, looking up into the night sky. He led me to the outlet, where it was almost vacant of shoppers, but not entertainment. We took a break while walking to gaze at the sky.
"I can't remember the last time I stared at the stars for so long," I say. "Sometimes New York won't allow the stars to shine,"
"Screw New York," Jax says. "But ya know, go Yankees."
      "Go anybody but the Yankees," I laugh. Jax jokingly glares at me as we begin to argue who's better.
"They're so overrated; we get it, you've been to the World Series thirty times, give someone else the spotlight!" I exclaim.
"The Dodgers have absolutely nothing on the Yankees! How many World Series have they won? Six! The Yankees have won twenty-seven, but good guess," Jax nods with a smile.
      Suddenly, we approach a large white platform, with huge luminescent tube lights sticking up at the sky. We saw children running around through them, servicing into each other and even running into the lights. The lights were safe to touch and didn't look breakable.
"Count to ten and come find me!" Jax excitedly squeals as he runs into the maze of lights. I couldn't spit out another word as he disappeared within the luminous glow. After counting, I step on the platform and slowly make my way through. Children run every which way around the lights, while some adult couples stand and talk.
"Jax?" I call out. Suddenly, a hand taps my shoulder from behind me. I turn around but no one is there.
"You suck at this game!" I hear Jax laugh.
"Where are you?" I laugh, walking and twisting through the lights. When I turn right, I slam into Jax's chest, and we both laugh.
Exiting the light maze, we notice two street musicians with a violin and bass guitar. They play some smooth jazz, and when Jax and I slow our walk to listen to them, the man with the violin goes on another route, and his buddy goes with him. The music is then some slow song you'd hear at a party. It was nice and relaxing, something I wish played on the radio more.
"May I have this dance?" Jax asks, holding out his hand. He smiles wide, his eyes crinkling in the corners. I take his hand with a big smile. Jax moves his left hand to my waist, being very careful where to place it. I place my right hand on his left shoulder, and we dance.
We stumble a few times, and what would've been embarrassing made us laugh. He looked down at me, his smile growing big as he stares into my eyes. His brows furrow down and lips fumble for a second, losing the smile.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
He smiles and chuckles lightly, "I could've sworn your eyes were brown, and now they're green. Have I been that bad of a friend?"
I laugh and shake my head, "Not at all, but thanks for noticing,"

Soon, we walk in the night back to our apartment building.
"I had fun tonight," I say. "Who knew you were so much fun?"
Jax laughs, "Thanks, I had fun too," Then the silence hits, and the dreaded question hangs in the air. He knows it. I know it. New York probably did too. Jax sucks in a deep breath as we walk into the lobby of our apartment building, swinging the picnic basket.
"Would you like to do this again?" He asks, a nervous smile on his face. I stare into his brown eyes. Never would I have said "No," it would be too harsh, but I wouldn't want to lead him on.
I had fun tonight, a different kind of fun I never thought I'd felt now. Sucking in a deep breath, sketching weird happened. My mind didn't see him as my best friend anymore. I mean I still saw him as a friend, but he was more than that now. My nerves weren't jittery anymore, my mind was clear of doubt, and the room got brighter. He was waiting for an answer.
"Yes." I smile.

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oh snap the date went well ;)