Being a Banner [ 1 of JA ]

69

Jax stood in the park, the trees were green, the sky was blue, the birds chirped, the sun was warm, but his heart didn't feel it. He'd wish he'd given Kerry his Yankees hoodie back, now it was too late, and he didn't know when she'd return. Or would she ever. But he wasn't giving up on her, he knew she would return, he knew she would be in his arms. When? He didn't know, soon, later, never? Kerry promised to return, she'll come back, he just knew it, Kerry always kept a promise. Either it was a secret, or something not to spread to Levi, she kept it. Jax had started to crush on her when he was in the third grade, he sat next to her, and she always had something on her mind. Yes, Kerry Banner was the most interesting, stubborn, awkward girl ever, and Jax loved that.

Jax was looking at everybody in the park, especially the workers trying to put the grass in better condition since the Battle Field accident. And then, construction workers were trying to put Harlem back together. Jax looked at the ground. He could hear Kerry's giggles, and see her green converse next to his Nikes. But that was just a flashback. Jax was just starting to walk on the concrete trail until he heard his name. "Jax Porter." he turned around to see a man in a suit. Oh....what was his name? Will, Bill?
"Phil Coulson." The man said as he had his hand out. Jax shook it as he remembered that name. "Oh yeah, you're the one who took my girlfriend away from me." Jax said insolently.
"Careful," Phil said, "You're starting to sound like her." Jax stared at him. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, I thought, maybe Jax Porter would like to know how Kerry Banner is doing." Phil said. Jax shifted his posture and stuck his hands in his jean pockets. "You have my attention." he said. Phil smiled. "What would you like to know." Phil smiled. Jax looked up at the sky, then back down, then at Phil.

"How is she? Will she ever come back? And when?" Jax asked. Phil chuckled and put his hands behind his back. "She's doing fine. Yes, she will. And until the government and news casts are off her back." Phil explained.
"But when will that happen?" Jax asked. Phil shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "But, you've got heart, Jax Porter. And not just for Kerry, but for everyone." Jax didn't know what to say. His expression was expressionless. "I just want my girl back." Jax said. Phil stepped back a bit. "Don't worry, she'll come back, when? Don't know. But, she'll come back, don't worry Jax Porter." Jax looked back at the ground, he turned on his heal slowly and faced the other way. "Actually," Phil said, Jax turned back around. "I'd like to know how you cope with her being gone, I mean, it must be pretty hard, huh?"
Jax nodded. "It is hard, really hard, in fact I'm always looking at pictures of us all. All the pictures I have with Kerry, I look over them, over and over because if I'm never going to see her again, than I got to remember her." Sure, it did feel weird saying that, but it was true. Jax needed to remember Kerry incase he wouldn't ever see her again.
"Hmm...so, you guys must really fancy each other." Phil said. Jax cringed. "What?"
Phil sighed. "Love each other, you must really love each other." Jax nodded.

"Yeah," he said. There was a silence. "Don't mind me asking, but, what if you never see her again, and he never came back, what would you do?" Phil asked. Jax looked at him.
"Oh, I know she's out there, how? Because when I look at the stars, I know she is too." Jax said.

*************

Maybe my life will take another turn, maybe it can change and I won't have to hide anymore, so I can walk in the streets and hold my head high. To attract attention to myself, to look into security cameras and smile just for fun.
When will that happen? I don't know. Easier to say nobody knows. So I may be in this base my whole life.

The stars look pretty tonight. All shining, glimmering, and huddled together, like one big happy family. A big happy family that stays together.
The wind blows softly against me. The roof of the base is very cooling at night to sit on. Reminds me of going to the park now, and also as a child.
Fragments and memories of Dad and I years ago have starts to flood in my mind nowadays. It's just Dad and I in the memories, some are with a little boy I'm guessing is Brendan.
Which reminds me, Tony has contacted us, we only talk. Since General is watching us, and has responsibility over us, Dad and I can't go to Tony's tower.
But, I'm with Dad, and that's all that matters.

I've learned some things:
1. It's better to be imperfect than perfect. If it wasn't for the Other Guy, I would have never learned that, which it also goes to me, I'm weird, awkward, and different, and that's better than whatever I was before.
2. It's okay to be alone, but that overcomes you, it swallows you whole and you think that loneliness is the answer. It's not, because there are people to meet, and places to see.
3. Thinking that nothing's going to get better is the worst. It's a little thing following you, telling you everything's going to fail, but keep your head high, and through it, things will get better.
4. Maybe faking your moods in a bad situation is okay, but all the time, lets just say your mood can affect people around you.

And the last thing, never anger Bruce Banner. Hehe! Because let me tell you, it's all green.

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OHMYGODTHELASTCHAPTER! Maybe.......i have one more thing In Stored! Wow, almost 70 chapters! This is the longest book I've ever written, and it's defiantly my favorite!
CAUTION: IF YOU READ MY OTHER BOOKS WITHOUT JA, WATCH OUT FOR SOME MINOR SLOPPY AUTHORING 😂😂😂 those were from a while ago 😂😂😂
Anyways,
Thanks guys ✌️