Chapter 12

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Who is Ammra exactly? Believe me, Miraak asked the same question too...

Who is Ammra exactly? Believe me, Miraak asked the same question too

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                Ammra slowly made her way to her room after Miraak left. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps what Ammra needed was an Expert Healing Spell, for her head. It was so ironic that she must treat someone else's mind while she was so nervous after the memories came back to her head.

Instead of letting those wretched grips of feeling consumed her, Ammra decided to act exactly the opposite. Faking the fun until it felt real. Faking her feeling even if she herself hated fake-ness the most.

Fake was the reason why she turned down Vilkas or any other men.

Fake was the reason why she and Miraak had a different opinion on the mortal worshiping dragon.

It mattered not now. Her fake laugh when she played hard fortunately work. It slightly helped her overcame the memories, making them felt so distant now.

All thanks to Sheogorath...and Miraak...? She noticed how he held his annoyance while they were in that realm. As Ammra uncork the sleeping potion she used to consume whenever the memories came, she sang.

...for I can't help...falling in love...with you...

One gulp then she fell into a deep slumber.

Did she worry if Miraak sneaks up and kills her? Yes. With her past memories rekindled, she became overly cautious and start to feel unsafe to sleep while Miraak was around.

Was she really determined to complete her project? Maybe. Her reason to do the project faced another destructive blow. Her self-doubt side grew stronger.

Was she scared of death? Not anymore. It was a funny complication since she worried Miraak might kill her. But this broken emotional balance eventually made her decide to drink the potion.

The truth was she hoped she just died in Helgen's execution. She always hoped for her death in her every mission. But her Dragonborn tittle seemed to forbid her to die. So, she lived on, becoming the hero that people expected...faking herself.

All of those praises and respect did not change the fact that she had been banished by someone she dearly loved. She always remembered that she was unwanted.


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