From Thoughts To Words

All Round Disappointment.

' I don't play any sports,
How can I play when even walking makes me wheeze?
I don't have friends,
How can I, when I can't even make a complete sentence without stuttering?
I am not cool,
Have you seen my wardrobe?
I suck at my studies,
I mean who gets Ds and Es in all their tests?
Me!
I am a disappointment to my parents,
Well, they pretend am not but I know I am.
I have the worst handwriting in the world,
My letter r is the same as v,my a the same as o.....see,disappointment.
I have chronic anxiety.
My hand feels like it gains an extra 10 kilos when I want to ask a question in class.
Oh! Don't forget I stutter so that makes it ten times worse.
I don't have a pet.
Every pet I've had,ran away.
I mean,am I that bad that even animals hate me?
I don't have a desk mate in any of my classes.
I like it like that,but still,am I that bad that no one wants to seat next to me?
Will they catch the ' weird,awkward,stupid,ugly,disappointing kid who has no future virus? '
I don't even have followers on my social media.
I created an account using a different name,but guess what?
They can smell me from across their screens.
I don't even go to the park.
As soon as am sighted,the whole park clears.
It's not like I'll trample on all of you!
Oh,did I mention that I look like a foot ball?
Well,at least that's what my school mates say.
See,all round disappointment.
But don't worry,I'll be no more of an all round disappointment when am gone. '

Those were the words a father found in his son's diary after he committed suicide.