From Thoughts To Words

Will I go to heaven?

I remember how we met; my friends told me, when the party's over I should leave with you and quit being a goodie,
because all the good girls go to hell.
We got to your place and you pulled me close and I was lost in your ocean eyes.
Oh, how lovely they were.
You held me hostage.
You got me wondering what your power was,
and all I could say was, ' I love you. '
I could see you in my future;
you were everything I wanted.

It was all going well until you said you were getting bored,
And I felt like it was the end of the world.
And I felt like a bad guy for boring you.
You said your final goodbye,
and I was left all on my own.
I could not watch you leave, it was all too painful.
The bellyache from stressing about my future without you was killing me.
I knew I had other things to do, and there was no time to die.
I joined the ' Bitches Broken Hearts ' club,
Well, I mean, I did feel like a bitch for letting you, my boy, go.
I was dancing on my own to another stupid song that I wrote for you.

You should see me in a crown; I remember you called me your queen,
but right now am not on a throne,
am going six feet under.
And my friends are here to ' bury a friend ',
but it's ironic because they said I had changed and they did not recognize me.
I told them, ' I don't wanna be you anymore '
because I realized I was a copycat and I had been living for you, if not as you.
Letting you go was hard because you were my strange addiction.
" Listen, before I go, I wanna say I love you and I hope whatever my future holds is as beautiful as you were my boy.
And I sure do hope that I do not go to hell because I was not a good girl.
Remember I was a bad guy for letting you go? Therefore I am deserving of heaven? "
Anyway, I hope that wherever I go now that I am asleep is as beautiful as I had hoped my future with you would be.

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A/N:
This is a poem composed using some of Billie Eilish's songs.
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