heavenly ✓

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 33

☆𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛'𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚟☆

She looked more beautiful than ever. absolutely ethereal. Looking at her only made me realize that I would never ever stop having feelings for her. Even after everything i' ve done, i always thought it would be better for her if i let her go, even if i suffer because i had hope that somehow i'll make her a memory that i would forget. But i had realized that it's impossible for me to do so. The thought alone brought an aching pain to my heart.

She still drives me crazy by simply refusing to look into my eyes. i want her to gaze in them and see my side of the story. I would let her look at the oceans of emotions swimming there. But there isn't anything quite like being ignored by her.

It's been a year since we last spoke, but even in that year, somehow random facts about her popped inside my head. like how she loved that song, or how she drank that coffee...

we all have someone we never speak of. Someone who meant so much, that even hearing their name makes your soul tremble with memories that bring pain because you lost them. someone who makes your heart break a little more each time you accidentally think of the color of their eyes.

But i painted my walls green, so i can suffer each and every time i look at them. it's not like you weren't in my head before looking at them. but i had to cause pain to myself so i can revenge you on me, for every single tear you shed mumbling my name.

"hello Alexander" her angelic, heavenly voice broke me out of my trance. she never called me Alexander. it was always Xander or wormie.

"hello lia" i couldn't help but use it.

"it's ophelia" she half smiled showing her annoyance. does she really hate me? i wouldn't blame her.. i hate me too.

"yes, right" if i wanted to make things right, i have to respect her boundaries and take things slow.

"i'm actually really pretty if you close your eyes. so stop fucking staring dude." snapped Elodie suddenly.

"whoaa whoaaa. calm down woman, i was only appreciating a beauty. And don't you dare dude me!! we talked about this! i really don't like being bro-zoned in a relationship" whined Lucas dramatically.

"dude- but make it romantically" winked Elodie making lia chuckle next to me.

"anyway.. congratulations you big fat pig" she hugged him. oh how much i would like to kill him right now.

"i don't eat much... but speaking of.. let's head and have dinner together. it's on alex. i promise" announced lucas.

"i wouldn't mind.." agreed Elodie.

"no, i better head home and continue unpacking." said ophelia. fuck no.

"i promise i'll help you tomorrow. we're having a sleepover today remember?" lodie tried convincing ophelia.

"fine. i need to sort something out anyway" she agreed with Elodie who had a knowing look on her face.

"can we go to the 5stars restaurant that opened a but far away?"

"oh fuck yes! it's not like i'm paying anyways" and with that the idiotic couple went to their car, shouting on how they will order for us, and how Elodie would kill me if i say something wrong.

"I want to talk to you" ophelia's voice was laced with nervousness.

"yes of course. i wanted to talk to you too."

"look, i know we have kind of bad history between us, but i want to forget that. we have friends in common and it would be slightly awkward holding grudges against each other." she stated. she looks powerful. damn right ophelia!

"lia.. what happened wasn't what it was. I had to do it. I-" she cut me off.

"It doesn't matter. it's in the past right now."

"no it's not ophelia. it'll hunt us. they're memories that never leave your bones, like salt in the sea- they become a part of you. you carry them." i reasoned with her.

"there's no us. not anymore." but before she could walk away, she turned to me

"just to let you know... i don't regret anything." and with that she went out of the garden, leaving me rooted to my spot.

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Driving down to the restaurant, all my feelings splashed me at once. it's been a while that all i felt was numbness, i simply numbed everything, even then i still felt pain thinking about how it all ended.

The day after Elodie knew about everything, i got a beating that led me to feel soreness in my ribs and a black eye that lasted a week or more. i just stood there letting her hit me. i knew i fucking deserved it.

But now, after seeing ophelia and talking to her after such a long time.. it felt surreal. like i didn't deserve to be in her presence.

i sighed turning off my engine and heading inside where everyone was seated by the window.

The dinner went smoothly, we chatted and i even laughed. my laugh still seems foreign to me. We talked about everything we did when we were all together, it was slightly awkward when it came to the topic of me and ophelia, but everyone ignored it. Or maybe it only stung for me.

I watched her through the night.. her smile that would make soldiers bow down to suck goddess. her eyes that carried galaxies in the depth of them. her rosy cheeks that would make anyone swoon. her elegant words that made me realize how much she grew mentally in the last year.

i couldn't help but feel proud of her. of what she became. a fucking doctor.
she had to work years and years just to save someone else. she would sacrifice her all to try and take away someone's pain.

At the end of the night, she and Elodie went home together, leaving Lucas and me behind. And the fucker wouldn't stop whining on how he wouldn't have cuddles. finally i asked for the check so i go home, but to my surprise it was already payed for.

fucking ophelia. always the same.

"A fucking boss. i swear."