My Purple | BTS ✔︎

Chapter 14

I can't believe I did that. I'm weak. I showed my weakness. I need to take myself in my hands and I can't cry anymore. I'm a strong and independent person and I don't need someone to hold.

I still see their faces, when I cried when I just left like that. I wasn't able to explain why I broke in front of them. It's will make them protect me and I definitely can't let that happen. Not now, when I'm gonna risk my life.

I came back home exhausted. I put my things in the living room and went to rest in my bedroom. Laying on the bed my mind started to run. What are they thinking? Do they see me as weak? Will they be worried about me? I just entered their life and I already giving them a hard time.

No, I can't think that. I can't lose myself, I'm strong and I always knew who I am and what I want. Looking at my light blue bedroom wall I'm thinking if I survive the operation, do they will understand why I did that. My thoughts short-lived, because soon my phone vibrated. I looked and saw a text.

Namjoon: I hope you fine. Maknae line explained why you left and I wanted to check on you. You okay?

Me: I'm fine. I am sorry for worrying you all. Are we still meeting tomorrow to process soul bond?

I can't forget why I went to search for them. I can't waste time, my sister's life is at stake and even I want a little to know them better, I don't have time for that. Time seems to be my biggest enemy.

Namjoon: Yes. Tomorrow I and Jin will take you on the date and we will seal a soul bond. Don't worry, two of us take you every day to do that, it's not to make you hurt. I hope you okay with that?

Me: I'm okay. I need this bond and thank you for understanding. We meet tomorrow. Bye!

Namjoon: See you tomorrow!!

I looked last time to my and Namjoon texts and sighed. I think I need fresh air and to eat. Food always helps. Changing my clothes and taking my cash I left the apartment and went to the convenience shop. I bought ice cream, chocolates, and my favorite chips.

Taking food, I left for the park. I often go there to clear my mind. I started to eat my ice cream and looking around I saw happy couples going around, energetic kids running around and old people smiling. It was like pictures from some fairytale.

Oh, how much I want that my life would be that easy. Living in the fairytale. My prince coming to save me. My first kiss and we would have a happy ever after. How easy would that be? But in life nothing is easy.

The universe gives us soulmates to live happily, but why it's so hard. How can you trust someone so easily, even if they have a piece of your soul? It sounds like a fairytale, but it's nothing like that.

I still remember, when I was dreaming of meeting my soulmates, creating a family, and living a happy full life. One night and everything crushed. My dreams, myself. From that night, my life went downhill.

My best friend looked at me with disgust. My twin brother chose his soulmate over me. My mother left us. I and my sister stayed together. Without her, I wouldn't be here.

I was given a hard life. I needed to fight for everything. For the trust, for truth and people still looked at me like I was a mistake, and maybe I was. Maybe I was a mistake of the universe. I had these thoughts often, but I never let them eat me.

Now I have seven soulmates, but I still need time to trust them. I don't have time. It's hard to look at them and not to spill the truth. They have to be my everything. They own piece of my soul. But it looks like I'm the villain in my own story.

I'm not crying, but my mind is. How pathetic of me. If only people knew what I was thinking, they would pity me. I finished my ice cream and my walk around the park. Sun started to go down, so I need to come back.

I went to clear my mind, but I have more doubts now than before. Why I am the way I am? I smiled at that. I need to stop thinking. Now I can't change anything. I'm ready. I'm ready for soul bond, I'm ready for potential death.

I came back home quickly. Leaving food in the kitchen, I went to take a shower to clean my head. It helped a little. Tomorrow I'm gonna start our soul bond. Tomorrow my life it's gonna change. From now on, I'm stopping thinking about my past and I'm focusing on saving my sister. I'm ready for the end. But still, a little hope is shining in the back of my mind. I Hope of living and sharing my life with my soulmates. We will see how it's gonna go.