Loony Toony

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It had been a few days since You left the boys. You had driven not really knowing where you were going but once You were low on gas you stopped for the first time that day. You took a minute to grab some food and a drink but when you were approaching the counter you saw those little boxed pies Dean has always loved and you broke. You felt your demon inside you swell against your human emotions but quickly took the unease to your advantage to try and take full control of yourself once again.

You remembered the cashier yelling at you to pay for your food but you walked out anyways and made it to the car to drive off. You felt like you were drowning in guilt and anger as you felt tears well up in your eyes. You knew you needed help but you had pushed Sam and Dean away, and Dean didn't want anything to do with you...and that stung.

You found a motel to stop at and had been there for the last couple of days getting your bearings and trying to find a logical way to fill the demon craving so you could take full control. You had ignored your phone but decided it was about time to check and see if anyone had tried to contact you. It scared you but you knew you had to check. You plugged the phone into the stolen gas-station charger and waited for it to turn on as your mind swam with possibilities of who would be trying to get ahold of you. Your mind kept wandering back to Dean. Would he still be angry? More angry? Sad? Relieved? Would he even call you? Would Sam call? Maybe Kevin? Garth? You felt anxiety pushing up your throat as you saw your phone light up. You went over and took a deep breath, flipping open the phone to see what was awaiting you.

6 missed messages

You anxiously opened the messages one by one.

Dean: y/n I didn't mean it babe. I was being an idiot. Call me.

Dean: y/n I have given you some space but you are scaring me. Where are you?

Dean: please talk to me.

Dean: y/n it is Castiel, angel of the Lord. You might not wish to talk to Dean but we just want to make sure you are alright. Please call Sam or Dean

Dean: y/n we can't find you. Your phone is off and maybe your demon is in control, maybe you are kicking crowleys ass already, but we want to help. I want to help. Sweetheart please talk to me. At Least let me know if you are okay.

Sam: hey y/n I just wanted to know if you are alright. Dean didn't mean what he said and we are worried about you. Give me a call thanks.

You felt stupid for leaving the boys. They had just got Kevin back and you left. You knew it wasn't you that actually left them though, it was your demon that was starting for pour out of the deep well inside your soul and you had to get away to cool down. 

You felt like you were still in competition for your bodily control which made you nervous, but you took a deep breath considering your options, and decided it was time to call Dean.

Ring. Ring.

"Y/n? Thank God. Where are you? Are you okay?" As You heard Deans worried tone through the speaker your eyes began to fill with tears.

"Hey Dean." You said shakily. You felt nervous for this conversation but you knew what you had to say. " I am fine. I ran out of gas and had to take a break in some musty motel. I am safe and in control again. Nothing got out of hand."

"Thank God" you could hear the relief in his voice as he mumbled those words. "Sweetheart... I didn't mean what I said. I didn't want you to go I was just -"

"Angry?" You cut in.

It was silent for a moment.

"No. Scared. Frustrated.  I was worried I was losing you again, and it turns out I was the one pushing you away" he sounded defeated as the words left his mouth but you were stunned. Not knowing how he would react to what you had to say.

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