Steady Breaths

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You jolt awake, feeling the cold sweat chilling you to your bones. The pain was overwhelming as you desperately tried to control your rapid breathing to try and stop the seething pain from compressing your lungs. You took shuddered shallow breath's as you desperately searched the room for any sign of struggle... a symptom of your latest set of nightmares. You were proud of yourself for not letting your demon take over as you chased the drop-bear through the forest. It wasn't that you had to try too hard to not let it out. In fact, you didn't really feel your demon rise in you at all yesterday and that fact left you unsettled. It was like certain destruction was looming over your shoulder, causing dread to weigh down on your conscience and cause the fear to shake you to the core. It felt close. Closer than you liked.

After realizing your latest nightmare was indeed the fictitious overplay of your worst memories you decided to get up. The smell of the re-dampened toothpaste that had now spread its way across your body filled your senses and made your stomach churn in unpleasant waves of nausea. The smell made you feel weak in the knees as you carefully maneuvered your way to the side of the bed. Every movement was agony as you felt your bones settle back into place. With the adrenalin fully out of your system, you were beginning to worry about standing upright without passing out, but the putrid perfume that was emanating off of your body was too much for your senses to endure. A shower was needed whether your body liked it or not.

You stood. After giving yourself time to adjust to the heaviness that beset your muscles, you began to slowly take off your clothes. Every movement causing a cascade of aching torment to rush through your body as your stiff structure tried to warn you of the damage dealt from yesterday's hunt.

Once out of your shirt you decided to try walking your way to the bathroom. With every footstep, you felt your mind pleading for you to allow the embedded strings that laced their way across your body to lead you back to bed, but you ignored them and continued forward as you thought of the warm water against your clammy skin.

You turned on the faucet to the shower before flipping on the bathroom light, allowing your eyes a few more minutes of darkness before the undoubted migraine set in. As you expected, as soon as the light-filled the room your head ached for the still darkness that once prevailed.

You turned and looked into the mirror, seeing the deep purples and harsh yellows colliding in an impressive thematic style. The colors covered your shoulders, leading down your breasts, back, and stomach, growing darker at the sides rather than along the front. It was most visibly a large handprint from where the creatures squeezed you. You were just lucky it didn't grab your head or pop your lung.

You carefully removed the remaining clothing, being cautious of your stiff muscles. As you entered into the warm water, the steady flow caused your skin to burn, but you enjoyed the sensation as your let it cleans you of your filth. As you began to feel weaker you sat down against the shower wall, feeling the cold tile flush against your hot skin, sending a shiver down your spine. There was only one other thing that could cause a sensation like that to course through you.

Dean.

The thoughts of Dean overwhelmed your mind as you sat along the shower floor. You remembered the gentle late-night whisperings he would mutter into your ear causing the hair on the back of your neck to rise as your butterflies took flight. The light caress of his touch on your skin would cause your breath to hitch as he carefully yet masterfully worshiped your body. You felt so many pent-up emotions stinging your eyes, causing a gentle flow of tears to glide down your face. You felt lost. Alone. And above all else guilty for entering his life, angry for allowing yourself to get attached, and haunted over the fact that you couldn't let him go. Never would you be able to leave Dean. He was your everything - despite all the heartache, drama, and heated arguments- he was your Dean. And you love him.

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