Dark Tendencies (Dean Winchester x Reader)

My Own Worst Enemy

*A/N: WARNING some graphic detail and dark themes*

You were screaming for them to notice you. The real you still inside. How could they not see?

***4 DAYS Earlier ***

You woke up feeling tight arms around you as you hummed in content trying to snuggle in closer to the warmth. As you tried to move you realized... you couldn't. Suddenly you felt like you couldn't breathe as you desperately tried to open your eyes, move your finger, or say anything but nothing worked. You were panicking, trying to make sense of where you were or what had happened when suddenly your eyes flickered open revealing that you were in your room. You suddenly remembered the hunt you had been on, with Cas talking about a Pagan God and a red van, but then nothing. You couldn't remember what happened once you got out of the car to go on your walk. You were confused and suddenly flipped over to look at Dean. Normally this would be an enjoyable moment, seeing Dean in the morning sunlight with his crazy bed head and gorgeous freckled face. It was always the most relaxing part of your day, but at this moment it was anything but that. Instead, it was anxiety-filled and caused panic to race through you. You were not controlling your own body.

You felt yourself move to kiss Dean on the cheek and saw as he opened his beautiful green eyes smirking at you. "Good morning beautiful" he sleepily slurred.

"Morning" you felt yourself say as a smile spread across your face.

"What are our plans for today?" He asked running a hand down his face.

"I was thinking about some quality time between you and me, this bed, optional clothes"

You felt like throwing up. WHAT THE FUCK? NO THIS IS WRONG IN SO MANY WAYS

He chuckled pulling 'you' into a kiss. "That can be arranged," he said with a smirk and you felt yourself giggle. "But first breakfast"

You got out of bed and felt yourself put on some comfy clothes before heading upstairs with Dean.

"Morning you two" Bobby said from the table. "you got in pretty early this morning. How did the hunt go?"

"Good," Dean says. "Where is Sam?"

"Shower," Bobby says turning back to his newspaper.

You felt sick, like throwing up, and you knew if you could actually scream you would be horse by now. You were fighting for anyone to notice you were not you. You felt like they should be able to sense a change. That they should be able to tell that this was not you, but to no avail. Didn't they know you? The real you?

***

You felt exhausted and blacked out a couple of times during the day. One minute you were listening to yourself talk with Sam about possible hunts he had found, and the next you were in the car with Dean heading somewhere. You had no clue how much time had passed or what was going on but you fought to have someone notice something, anything.

You saw that you arrived at some burger joint that you and Dean frequented for midnight pie runs but it wasn't dark enough to be midnight so you figured Dean was taking 'you' out for dinner. You were angry he didn't realize after all day of who knows what, that it wasn't you.

Maybe they will never notice. Immediately you felt your stomach drop at the realization. What if you were trapped like this forever?

You watched as they shared laughs and talked about Dean's childhood a little, and when the food came you felt yourself become desperately hungry. These were some of your favorite burgers and you were looking forward to (at the very least) be able to enjoy the savory taste, however that chance didn't come. In fact 'you' mainly ate the fries and the shake Dean had ordered.