Unpredictable • cth

23

Ella-

As I entered my house, silence fell over me. To be honest it was peaceful. There was no sounds, no duke, it was just quiet.

"Dad? Aunt Mali ?" My voice boomed through the house, echoing as it went through.

Not before long my aunt appeared from around the corner, beaming at the sight of me. I felt pretty lack luster at the moment though.

"El, what's wrong?" She approached me as with caution. I didn't even realize I looked upset.

"Nothing. I just got worked up." My attempt to play it off as no big deal wasn't working.

"Come on."

She grabbed my hand, pulling me through the long hallways. I am now trailing behind my aunt as she pulled me into the guest room, sitting me down on the edge of her bed.

I looked around the usually rather tidy guest room. She had her clothes everywhere. The bathroom was wide open with makeup and hair products everywhere. As I've gotten older, I have seen that my father is the neater of the two and I'm so thankful that took to me more.

"What happened?" She said with her back against the headboard, looking at me with intent.

"Long version or short?"

She chuckled at my response. The one thing we always do is talk. We could sit for hours talking like she was my age or I was hers. After my mom passed we really started talking as soon I came of age. When I was 13, every time she visited we really became inseparable.

"Long." Her attention is all on me, honestly making me rather nervous.

I flopped backwards on the bed, spreading my arms across the bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling.

"I wanted to run because I wanted the nightmare gone. I wanted her gone from my life. I thought maybe if I ran she would leave me. If I got rid of all my thoughts and doubts I would be able to sleep with no issues."

My head turned to face my aunt who was just staring at my face getting increasingly pale. She turned her body to mirror me. Laying her back against the mattress, staring at the ceiling fan.

"Dad called Uncle Ash, so I started to loose my footing Caleb was there to catch me. That was short lived because we started fighting."

"With Caleb?" My aunts voice was full of surprise. "You two never fight."

"I know that's the worst part. But it wasnt a fight fight, it was like him getting frustrated that I pretend i'm fine all the time."

"It sounds like he's been holding it in for a while now." I nodded as she propped her head up on her hand.

"He has a point El. You can't always be perfect. You have to let your walls down. Your always so perfect because you feel like you have to be." Her voice was calm, but I could tell she had been holding this in for a while too.

"I know. But the more I let people in the more I hurt people. I mean this whole week has been shit because all four of us are finally good again, I let them all in again and now here we are."

"Where is that Ella?"

"I drowned in the bathtub, the boys saw my nightmares, Ryder twice now, and dads pissed off and he broke moms picture, and"

"Ella breath." She reached over to grab my hand, calming me down. "Finish telling me about what happened today. Let's just focus on today."

My eyes were still fixated on the ceiling. I couldn't look at her because I know she had tears in her eyes.