THE MANAGER NIM

24. HOPELESS HOWL

You hold your arm outta the car window, few droplets lazily glide across the window bumper and splashes against your skin, as if they can barely be bothered to land on your skin as per gravity's wish.

The cardigan which Namjoon offered you a while ago resigned its job to keep your body warm and now it is as wet as your eyes. Drowning in the deep thoughts, looping inside your mind you sink deeper into the car seat. Without your conscience, a teardrop slowly rolls down your cheek and seeps through your parted lips, leaving a saline tang.

When you think about it, it feels quite laughable how the times your dad called you pretty in all kinda words in existence, vanished into thin air and the guy's shallow words who you met an hour ago, which termed you as an ugly being is looping around your mind to the level which is suffocating your brain.

A warm thumb slides from your eye to the corner of your lip and rubs the water bead and the trace it left off your cheek. Your head slowly turns in reflex towards the rangy guy sitting next to you. His hazel iris is reflecting the pain your heart is enduring at the moment.

"Namjo_"

"Shush!" He places a finger over your chapped lips and shuts you in midway. 

"Y/n-shi, trust me I can feel your pain in my bones. There is a famous saying which goes like, 'one will never understand one's stomach pain unless he goes through the pain himself' and believe me, I've been through this pain a lot of times in past and even now, sometimes. There were nights where I used to dump my face into my pillow and cried my heart out silently so that my parents wouldn't hear the hopeless howl of their ugly child. And the most pathetic part was I, myself was utterly convinced that I was ugly. Even after our debut, I couldn't bring myself to accept all the love people were showering me with and comments which appreciated my looks and that very moment I realised what kinda horrendous thing  I was doing all this while,

I was hating myself.

Now, I can't travel back in time to wipe those pain fused tears of my younger self but I have the power to stop you from hating yourself. Listen y/n, No one is born ugly, we're just born in a judgemental society. I, Kim Namjoon, leader of BTS, is still trying my best to love myself every day despite all those hate comments about me and my looks and I'll do it till my lungs give up. That's how you gotta live too."

A fresh stream of tears starts to cascade down your eyes, this one is not fused with pain but with an indecipherable feel of proudness and gratitude you feel towards this guy.

"Thanks!" You feebly whisper.

Driver halts the car in front of Bighit building. Both of you proceed to walk in the long pathway which leads to the entrance.

"And how did you know I was there in the cafe?" You enquire him as you suddenly remember the details.

He presses both his lips together to not let the giggle escape his throat, "well I guess you were quite nervous this morning and got confused between Namgoong and Namjoon." 

Your palm pulls itself towards your face in a facepalm, reflexively as the realisation hits you.

"Did I send the message to you instead of assistant director Namgoong?!" 

"Yeah!" He couldn't help and stifles a smile.

"Damn! I'm so sorry, I was about to send it to_"

"I know, I know, it's okay, don't need to explain yourself. I understood it the moment I saw the message and I was free at that time, I also wanted to fuel my system with an espresso shot so I just arrived at the cafe and took a seat behind yours and waited for you. I'm sorry I didn't mean to but I got to hear your conversation fortuitously. Please pardon me!" He apologises with utmost sincerity.

"Namjoon-shi, I've never felt this thankful for something which happened coincidently. I thank all the gods in heaven for sending you there today. Thanks for craving for an espresso at the right time_"

"And no matter what some jackass says, espresso is one of the best coffee out there, hands down!" He completes your sentence.

Both of you burst into chirpy laughter which elevates your soul.

"Alright y/n-shi, we're quite early for the meeting so you wanna have something?" 

"I'm not in a mood to have anything Namjoon-shi and I already had some food in the cafe so I'll pass, but I gotta go somewhere if you excuse me I'll leave now."

"Oh, sure! But don't forget to be here for the meeting on time. Also, keep what I said in mind, arraseo?"

as you flash a weak yet soulful smile he twirls around and walks towards the main entrance.

He suddenly halts in midway and swivels around when you tug his shirt from the back. 

"Yes y/n-shi, do you want anything?" The sudden surprise is smeared all over his face.

You hesitantly shift your gaze from his foot to his face, "umm about what you said earlier...am I really the prettiest woman you've ever seen or was that meant to console my sabotaged heart momentarily?" Although you wanted to hide in a cave that very moment and never head out from there for asking this question, curiosity was killing you from inside since then and you couldn't curb it anymore.

He looks at your face in a baffled state for a solid minute and a gentle smile creeps over his lips, "y/n-shi why don't you give me a hi-five?" He holds his hand in the air in a hi-fiving posture.

You dubiously place your palm over his palm to complete the hi-five, though you have no idea why you're doing this.

In a trice, he swiftly places his other hand over yours in a jammed state and bends all three palms horizontally. Now your palm is sealed in between his palms.

"This is how you promise in India right? Please pardon me if this is not the correct way but I just wanted to swear in a way you could relate to. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, both in and out, do you trust my words now? Those are not just empty words thrown at you for mere convincing purposes, I meant them with all my heart." He gazes into the deep ocean of your dark orbs.

Pressing his phone over his chest Jungkook stares at your collapsed hands from the 2nd-floor window, "fool me twice, shame on me!" A dry snort leaves his nose.