THE MANAGER NIM

54. WHITE LILACS

Golden rays of dawn illicitly invade through the slits of heavy crimson curtains and tease your stock-still eyelids which are forestalling those warm rays from rousing you from the ethereal dream where you're walking hand in hand with Jungkook along a sandy beach.

He fondly smiles at you, the kind of smile which he never flashed at you before and the sort of smile you would flip the entire universe to protect it.

"I feel like a fable prince who can defeat any monster with one hand when you're holding the other." His voice is as mellifluous as ever.

"Really?" the desperation in your voice gives away your heart's content.

"Yeah, when I've already tamed the most freakish monster with one hand what can even stop me from fighting other harmless ones?"

The smile drops off your lips in a swish, you dip down and throw his burly frame over your shoulder with the dexterity of a huntress who had tossed various such wild beasts over her shoulder.

"Yaa! What are you doing? Why are you walking towards the sea? Michin yeoja!!!" his blaring scream pierces through your eardrums as he continues to squirm in your hold.

"Gotta drown this heap of salt in the ocean!" you continue to walk towards the ocean as he continues to yell at the top of his lungs, abruptly someone plays 'Daeng' in the background and the next minute your eyes fling open, your morning alarm hauls you back to the reality.

Your hands probe over the comfy quilt in either direction to silence the shrieking phone.

In contrast to every Disney princess, you wake up wildly scratching your head like a homeless beggar and climb out of the bed to reach for your phone on the nightstand. Adjusting your baggy pyjama pant with one hand you switch on the mobile data with the other, in jiffy notifications start to pour in and amidst the pool of messages your friend Darla's message tugs your attention.

"IS THAT MY BESTIE?!" you can read her wild scream through those caps, and there is a link to a YouTube video below the message.

When you open the video your body shudders at the surge of overwhelming emotions. In the glossy screen of your phone, you see your slender arms yanking the sasaeng's hair with raging fury, even in that blurry video you could see the sheer passion in your eyes to snap her neck like a twig. Fortunately, the black mask is covering your vital features, else the way you baring your teeth at her in a grimace like a starving vampire would've scared the life light outta the viewers.

Though it is you you're witnessing in the video, the way your nails are digging into her arm which is holding the camera and the intensity of your raw rage in every move appals you. You seem like a disguised member of a mafia clan, when you effortlessly shove her towards the ground, clasping both her arms behind her back.

It disgusts you to watch the savage beast you unleashed yesterday, even so, a vague feeling of satisfaction appeases your guilt when you remember for whose sake you acted that way. In the video Jungkook resembles a scared fawn, trying to get a grasp of the situation without hurting the obsessed fan. Just like the crowd who clapped and cheered when you ambushed the sasaeng, the comment section is overflowing with comments in all languages with heart and fire emojis along with hundreds of hashtags saying 'Urimanagernim'.

But if Jungkook acted the same way as you yesterday, the reaction would've been acutely different, there would be a row of haters roasting him for being mean towards a female fan, dismissing the fact how she assaulted and humiliated him.

Being an Idol is like walking on a thin layer of a frozen lake, too fragile, too parlous.

You close the video and shove the phone into your pyjama while making a mental note to hide this video from BTS at all costs. You want it to be a faded memory of last evening, it shouldn't be kindled fresh and become a topic of discussion, else you'll cringe to death.