Beyond The Stars || KSJ;JJK;KTH

XXI

Sapere aude

(Dare to know)

~~~

It's so, so stupid. This whole situation is just ridiculous, and Jungkook would laugh while making his way out of the apartment complex, if he wasn't right in the middle of the whole fiasco.

Jin is clingy, childish and annoying, it almost drives Jungkook straight into insanity. He doesn't even have the fucking right to be controlling of whether Jungkook is allowed to meet someone. Not when he's infiltrating his home and mind like that, not when he's turning it into Jungkooks fault - not when he's sleeping beside Taehyung every night.

Not when he's having everything Jungkook has ever wanted.

In return, Jungkook just wants to be left alone, why can't they understand that? He's tired of them, tired to see their happiness while he's feeling like he has nothing to lose anymore. Because all he had, is belonging to someone else now.

And that someone is apparantly so obsessed with Jungkooks misery, that he keeps adding and adding to it like a parasite. Yes, he knows it's probably a whole different story when it comes to Taehyungs or Jins view of things - maybe Jungkook is even the villain in theirs.

But in reverse, they are also his.

Taehyung used to be by his side and secretly kiss him when he thought Jungkook was asleep. He used to cook his favorite dish in difficult times, he used to hug him every time the world overwhelmed the younger - Jungkook used to mean something to Taehyung.

Now, Taehyung can fuck himself for all he cares. He doesn't mean shit to him too, Jungkook couldn't care less about anything that resolves around him. Maybe that's a good mindset to strive for. Maybe he won't get hurt with a shield filled with hatred and coldness, yielding him from the only people he never thought he had to be protected from.

And Jin? - Jin can have him, both deserve each other perfectly. If that's the only way for them to be happy, then Jungkook certainly won't be in their way.

If those, who are important to him, think they are better off by being with other people, then it's their choice, shall they find contentment by leaving him over and over again. Sometimes, Jungkook forgets that the ones he loves, don't necessarily have to love him back.

He grumbles angrily to himself, repeating the word 'baby' with such disgust, that it immediately gets followed by a grimace. Has Taehyung ever called him that? Jungkook doesn't think so.

His whole mind is all over the place, similar to the endless spamming of emotions which get accompanied by the contraction of his chest and heart. Jungkook just feels so much, and he keeps on thinking and thinking over every little detail of what's been happening ever since Jin entered.

It's pathetic and disgusting that he can't get the image of them being intimately together out of his head, or how he reacted to it in the morning. He hates it, he hates it all, but what he hates the most, is that he doesn't hate it as much as he should.

As Jungkook keeps on going into the direction of the laboratory, he grits his teeth and narrows his eyebrows into a deeply troubled expression, thinking that nothing ever goes right for him. And he fails to understand why he deserves it, what he must have done, to have such a great life.

And he would've continued his way like that, if there's wasn't a person tapping him on the shoulder, thankfully startling him out of his thoughts. Honestly, Jungkook doesn't know what to expect, because there's only like five people he's currently talking to, of which he dislikes a few.