Beyond The Stars || KSJ;JJK;KTH

XVIII

Semper Fidelis

(always faithful)

~~~

Jungkook has never liked the mornings after. The awaking alone is already unsatisfying and groggy, but the splitting headache and nausea make things so much worse. A frustrated and helpless groan leaves his lips just as he rubs his eyes, begging for this miserable state to pass.

He knows he has been mindless last time, but to be honest, he can't even remember half of the things he had done. There were girls and guys around him, which tried to kiss and whatnot, and Jungkook knows he wanted that - the attention, the lust, the forgetting.

Sadly, Jungkook also thinks back on the mindset he had to find someone to use as to get Taehyung out of his system. It should be some kind of revenge for the betrayal, he wanted for Taehyung to feel the same things he had felt. But in the end, Jungkook just couldn't do it.

He couldn't see someone and want them, no one was captivating enough despite being very attractive, no one clicked with him and no one made him feel those things Jungkook liked to feel. They just weren'tt Taehyung, and so Jungkook couldn't do it, because he doesn't want anyone but him.

But what also comes into Jungkooks mind, is the way people reacted when he rejected them and their offers. Some would throw a tantrum, others just made him feel really bad about not wanting to take it further. They weren't understanding or caring, they weren't adorable and didn't have that kind and heartwarming smile he had searched for. They weren't Jin either.

Jungkook really really wants to hate Jin, and there are so many reasons for that. Yet, for most of them it's not Jins actual fault, he never asked for any of this too. To be truthful, Jungkook sympathizes with him and he doesn't want to think about what Jin had to go through, but that doesn't mean he's not allowed to feel upset too.

As Jungkook opens his eyes and tries to scan his surroundings, he's surprised to find himself lying in his bed, dressed in different clothes without any stains or dirt. Upon sensing a presence next to him, his eyes shift instantly to the side, only for his features to soften into fondness when seeing that it's Jin.

That boy is kneeling on the ground beside the bed, his skull and arms on the mattress while sleeping right beside Jungkooks torso. His hand is intertwined with Jungkooks, and he can't understand why he feels warmth spreading in his chest merely because of that.

After all that has happened, Jungkook can't understand why he doesn't react differently. Why he doesn't push Jin away, yell at him that he invaded his privacy when Jungkook clearly stated that it was a dealbreaker. He probably should, shouldn't he?

But he doesn't. Not when Jin has spent the night after Jungkook asked him to stay, sleep in this uncomfortable position with his knees probably bruised. Not, when he looks so peaceful and even more ethereal in his sleep, so soft and beautiful right beside him.

He watches silently the movements of Jins constand breathing, the way his torso rises and falls smoothly. Jungkook doesn't want to move, afraid to disturb the other.

Jins lips are parted slightly, long eyelashes meet his adorable cheeks, having some traces of dried tears on them.

And this earns a bitter smile out of Jungkook, whose eyes sadden at the sight.

It's true, he hates Jin, but he's not a monster either. It goes to the point where Jungkook asks himself if the relationship between Jin and Taehyung can be functional when Jin's so innocent and pure. Does Taehyung know that he takes advantage of Jin? The older probably doesn't know what he's doing or how a relationship works, so how can Taehyung use him like that?