As the Chains Fall

Prologue

Hindi ko alam kung anong edad ako nagsimulang humiling na sana ay pinanganak na lamang akong mayaman. Masyadong matagal na panahon na iyon kung tutuusin dahil maaga kong nalaman ang katotohanan na hindi pala puro saya ang buhay. I just knew that life would have been a lot easier if only we were rich.

Ang hirap umisip ng mga bagay ngayon na hindi malulutas ng pera. Mas madali pang makapag-isip at makapaglista ng mga masosolusyonan nito dahil sa sobrang dami, hindi magkakasya sa sampung daliri lang. Some would say there is something out there that money cannot buy. Sure... but it can still solve a lot.

In my case, it would have solved everything.

If only I had it back then, I wouldn't have had to suffer like I did. Kung may pera lang ako noon, hindi ko mararanasan ang mga kalupitan na pinagdaanan ko. Marami sa mga nangyari sa buhay ko ang hindi mararanasan ng kung sino mang may pera.

It's so easy for people to answer on their Values Education that money cannot buy happiness. They'd say that they would choose love or friendship over money. It reeks of a privilege that I never had.

Nasasabi nila iyon kasi hindi pa nila nasubukang mawalan ng minamahal dahil lang walang pera. What if I change the question and ask them why some people have to choose money just so they can keep the people they love? How do you choose love in a situation where you need money to keep that love alive?

I would've loved to have known the answer to that question years earlier than this.

For the longest time, I romanticized the life of everyone but mine. Ang buhay ng iba ay parang pantasya na sa akin. I envied people for being rich. I wished it was me who could buy anything without worrying about its price.

I wanted to know how it was like to spend without having to worry about tomorrow. I was desperate to feel the privilege of having to go to the hospital without being buried in debts just to have money to pay the bill.

I wanted to wake up every morning without worries.

"Water?"

Napatingin ako sa pinanggalingan ng boses sa gilid ko at tumambad si Ethan sa akin. Uhm, Kuya Ethan... I guess. Hindi pa lang ako nasasanay na tawagin siyang ganoon pero sana naman ay dumating ang araw na 'yon dahil nasisita ako ng mga nakakarinig kapag hindi ko siya tinatawag na Kuya. Ayos lang naman sa kaniya na hindi, pero 'yung matatanda kasi ang may gusto.

Naglalahad siya ng isang basong tubig sa akin. "Salamat," Tinanggap ko 'yon at mabilis kong naubos. Nakatulong ang tubig sa pag-ibsan ng kabang nararamdaman ko.

I feel really awkward wearing this long formal dress, too. Parang ang daming nakatingin sa akin. Hindi ko maiwasang isipin na baka alam nilang hindi ako dapat naririto. Maybe they've noticed I am not cut out for this kind of life.

Ethan grabbed the glass of water back after I finished it. He has this usual concerned look on his face. "We can leave if you want to. Magpapaalam ako kay Dad. I'm sure he'll understand if you'd want to just go home."

Mabilis akong umiling. Nakikisama na nga lang ako rito. Ayaw ko nang makaabala pa ng kahit na sino, pero mukhang hindi siya kumbinsido sa pag-iling ko.

I felt a little panic when he turned away, as if he's ready to walk up to his father and tell him. Hinigit ko ang braso niya. "Ethan! No, it's okay! I'm fine. I'm just feeling a little stuffy, but it'll be fine."

I saw his eyes scan the entire function hall, filled with very important people all over the country. He's not even bothered by it because he's so used to gatherings like this. Habang ako'y halata namang hindi sanay kaya ganito ako ngayon.