How am I supposed to act after he said all of that? I don't feel awkward, not at all—but I feel uneasy.
What if the others heard that? Ano ang iisipin nila kung marinig nila si Eros na sabihin iyon? How would they interpret it? Heck, I don't even know how I would take it!
He's driving through the MacArthur Highway and not one of us is talking. Pinirmi ko ang tingin ko sa labas. I can sense him glancing at my direction from time to time.
"Señorita," he called for me.
"Yeah?"
"Hindi ka na masyadong mahiyain ngayon," aniya. Medyo ikinagulat ko 'yung pagiging karaniwan ng pag-uusapan, pero nagpapasalamat ako roon.
Tumango ako, "I had no choice but to overcome it somehow. O bawasan man lang. Meeting a lot of new people abroad did it to me."
A hint of a smile graced his face. "But you're still shy. Lesser than before, but shy, nonetheless."
"I wasn't that shy. Depende lang siguro sa tao, pero overall, sa tingin ko ay hindi naman ako talagang mahiyain. I used to be very proud of my bargaining skills in the market. Tinataguan ako ng mga tindera kasi alam nilang tatawad ako," I smiled as I recalled my memories. Nakita kong ngumiti rin si Eros.
Nanahimik saglit bago siya nagsalitang muli.
"Was it hard?"
Lumingon ako sa kaniya dahil hindi ko masyadong naintindihan dahil parang ibang usapan na at hindi klaro ang boses niya dahil mahina. "Ha?"
"Was it hard... living away?"
May kumikirot sa puso ko. When I left, I didn't have the chance to say goodbye to him in person. It was a long time ago. He must have already moved on. Guni-guni ko na lang din siguro ang sakit sa boses niya.
"It was fine," simple kong sagot kahit na alam kong namamag-asa siyang makarinig ng mas mahaba o mas malaman na sagot.
Kung luwag ng buhay ang pagbabasehan, mas wala akong pinroblema sa Canada dahil hindi ko inisip ang pera doon. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I prefer my life over there.
Pinigilan kong sabihin ang lahat ng ito dahil alam ko na magkakasundo kami sa ibang bagay, maliban sa usaping pera. It was what started to destroy what we used to have, whatever it was, after all.
"Weren't you lonely?" mahinang tanong niya.
For a moment, I feel the edges of my eyes turning hot as tears threaten to come out. Hinintay kong lumipas ang kagustuhan kong lumuha. Bakit alam niyang itanong iyon? Of course, I felt lonely. It was all I felt when I couldn't feel anything else.
"I had JB and JV. It's hard to feel lonely with them."
"JB and JV?"
I smiled, "My baby cousins."
"Oh," He sighed. "The ones you call 'baby' over the phone."
"Yup. Who else would I call that?"
He shrugged coolly, "You can try it with me."
Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. He's always been this straightforward, it takes me off guard a lot of times. Sanay na ako sa kaniya dati, pero ngayon, naninibago ako ulit sa kaprangkahan niya. Ano ang sasabihin ko?!
He glanced at me due to my silence. Tumingin ako pabalik sa kaniya, sinigurado kong makukuha niya ang tingin ko na tila binabantaan siya. Imbes na magsisi sa sinabi, may sumilay pa na ngisi sa mukha niya.
"I heard you went to Spain..." panimula ko ng bagong usapan, trying my best to sound the most normal I could manage. "Kumusta naman doon?"
We got stopped by a red light. Dahil doon ay tuluyan niya akong nilingon. His hand moved to touch mine, but I quickly took my hand back. Hindi na iyon pwede. Iba na ang sitwasyon ngayon, at naguguluhan ako nang todo, kasi bakit ganito ang kilos niya?!
VOUS LISEZ
As the Chains Fall
Roman d'amour[ESCADEJAS SERIES #1] Eros Jaireh Escadejas lives in a world that suits him perfectly, where everything is already laid out in front of him. He was destined to not have to worry about anything because his family is powerful enough to solve all of hi...
