As the Chains Fall

Epilogue

I remember the night when my cousin said, "Isipin mo 'yon, Eros ang pangalan mo pero malas ka sa pag-ibig."

I threw Evo a sharp glare to shut him up then. "The Eros from the mythology wasn't exactly fortunate with his lovelife at first. He eventually got the girl."

"You seriously think this is going to end well?"

"I'll do my best."

Even if he did zip his mouth, he cannot take back what he said. He had said the words already, and I had no choice but to actually think about how ironic that is.

Eros Jaireh Lahidalga Escadejas.

What a name. I wonder if my mother knew that the son she carefully and thoughtfully named, would turn out to be so pitiful, all for a woman he loves?

Did my parents see this coming? Did they know that on this exact day, their eldest child would lock himself in a hotel's bathroom, weeping and wishing he was not there?

It is so pitiful, it's funny.

Today is the day that Sienna is going to be formally introduced to the world as a part of my family. I always pictured this to happen someday—as my wife. So, forgive me if I never expected it to turn out this way.

I want to be her family, but not in this godforsaken way.

"Jaireh?" I heard Mom's voice from outside my suite's door. I quickly composed myself and stood up from the floor to fix myself up in the mirror. I took a deep breath, hoping it is enough to hide the fact that I have been having a breakdown for the past hour.

My angel of a mother does not deserve this. She does not deserve to see her son this way, when all she ever did in her life was pour all her love towards me. I cannot put her through the same pain that I am feeling.

I am fine carrying this all alone.

Why? Because this pain kills. I feel like I am dead, void of life, but I am left with my damn senses, making me the worst kind of alive.

I opened the door and faced my mother. Tumingala siya sa akin, at alam kong nahalata niya na agad na kagagaling ko lang sa pag-iyak. I was a fool to even think of hiding anything from her. She sees through me easily.

I have been broken for years since Sienna left, anyway. She would not notice the difference, and she most definitely cannot know that I am hung up over my soon-to-be cousin. Imagine the horror if they all found out.

"Yes, Ma?"

"Your Lolo's party is about to start. You're the only one left up here! Even Monique is already downstairs!"

Unti-unting kumunot ang noo niya at lumambing ang mga mata sa panonood sa akin. She reached out her hand and held my left cheek. I almost broke down into sobs just to ask for a tiny bit of comfort.

"My son, is something wrong?"

I shook my head.

Everything is going wrong, Ma.

Nothing was going right—or are they really going well but I just cannot accept them, because they do not agree with what I want and with what I had planned?

Maybe, I am the problem here.

When my mother successfully dragged me downstairs, my family was already in line for the entourage. I stood beside Monique, and we were between Mom and Dad.

In front of us were Uncle Theodore and Aunt Geneva with their children, Everett, Keanna, and Kaarel. Behind us were Uncle Arthur and Aunt Eloise with the angel siblings, Hezekiah, Nehemiah, and Ezra.