As the Chains Fall

Chapter 37

Feelings, for me, are easy to neglect especially when I need to do it for someone I cherish. I have been putting all of my feelings aside in this entire situation, for the sake of making my mother happy.

I do not know how much more I can take.

Buong gabi akong pinakikilala sa iba't ibang mga pamilya. Ngayon ko lang nalaman na nakakapagod pala ang magpakilala ng sarili nang paulit-ulit. The first half of Don Tercero's birthday was solemn and really celebrated his life, and this part is now pure socialization.

"Yes, my surname is Wenceslao. Yes, the brothers are kind to me. Yes, Tito Javier has talked to me about business. Yes, I lived in Canada. No, my mother does not encourage me to change my last name." Sa puntong ito ay parang mag-isa na lang na nagsasalita ang bibig ko dahil pare-pareho lang naman ang mga itinatanong nila sa akin.

I heaved a sigh of relief as soon as I got back to my chair. Nandoon si Clementine kasama ko at tinawanan niya ang ekspresyon ko.

"Welcome to the world!" aniya.

I scoffed jokingly, "Your world."

Ngumiti naman siya. "Which is now yours, too."

May slow dance na nagaganap doon sa gitna. The violin and the harp is heard and amplified all throughout the large hall. Pinanood ko ang mga nanonood at namataan si Mama na isinasayaw ni Tito Javier.

I stared at them for a long time. For a split moment, my eyes played with me and replaced Tito Javier with my father's figure. I swear that I saw that it was the great Jorge Wenceslao Jr. dancing with my mother and not Javier Silas Escadejas IV.

My lips trembled when I blinked, and my father was gone. Bumalik na ako sa realidad, at masama ba kung hilingin na bumalik na lang ako sa ilusyon na iyon? Gusto ko lang naman makita ang mga magulang ko na magkasama.

Sa paghiling ko nito, alam kong sarili ko lang din naman ang masasaktan. But that's fine. As long as I do not say it to somebody else, to Mama, this pain is all mine to endure.

Naalis lang ang tingin ko sa aking ina at sa mapapangasawa niya nang may kamay na tumambad sa harap ko. Inangat ko ang tingin ko at nakita ang seryosong mukha ni Kuya Silas na dinudungaw ako.

"May I have this dance?"

I smiled and gave my hand, "Ako pa ba ang tatanggi?"

"I don't blame you. People find it hard to reject me." Tumawa siya habang naglalakad kami papunta sa gitna para sumali sa sayawan. Sumeryoso din naman kami noong nandoon na dahil nakakahawa ang atmosphere na dala ng tugtugin.

He put his hands on my waist, and I rested mine on his shoulders. Hindi ako sanay sa ganito kaya hinayaan ko siyang pangunahan ako.

"I can't believe that I have a sister," bulong niya.

I chuckled a bit to hide my real feelings about how my life changed so drastically over the course of three years. "H-Hindi rin ako makapaniwala."

"Are you happy with us?"

"Syempre naman."

"That's good to hear. Alam ko na si Raziel ang palagi mong kasama, and you should know by now that my brother cherishes you. But you should also know that I am your brother, too. You can depend on me."

Tumango ako at yumuko, naiiyak. Nagpatuloy siya, "I lost my mother like how you lost your father. I understand how hard this is. I am almost never around but you have Raziel and I. Do you hear me?"

"Y-Yes..."

"We're clear on that, yeah?"

Wala akong ibang nagawa kung hindi ang tumango, dahil kaunti na lang talaga ay maiiyak na ako sa lahat ng sinabi ni Kuya Silas. Palagi siyang seryoso kaya kadalasan ay kinakabahan ako sa kaniya, kaya naman hindi ko inasahan na sasabihin niya ang lahat ng ito sa akin ngayon.