Sanders Sides x Reader Stuff

Janus x Reader: Here

Hello there, Sorry for the recent inactivity, lifes been... well... a rollercoaster for sure, anyway, wrote this one as more of a vent/comfort piece so it might be a little shorter... as always please keep comments clean and Patton friendly!

(I intend to start getting requests out a little more hopefully these upcoming weeks)

warnings: angst, implications of being triggered, not so pleasant memories or people, pouty Roman (please let me know if you spot anymore and I'll add them)

the walk home was quiet, the soft wind blowing your clothes and ruffling your hair, but neither you or Janus cared, both of you walking in silence down the dark path, Janus hesitantly taking your hand in his own as you both walked. both staring out, not at each other

the rain softly beginning to putter down, as your mind continued on it's... dangerous path. why... of all the days, why did it half to be today, infront of your fiance. in the grocery store... with the shelves trapping you in, the people all around and overwhelming smell of loberster that was probably too old

you just softly walking along the sidewalk, your shoes squishing with every step, yet... you didn't really care, your mild leaving you, only muscle memory and Janus hand leading you towards home.

Janus softly taking his hat and placing it on your hand as the rain started to beat down, at first softly, then a little harder as the house came into view, Janus pulling you to the shelter on the front step, carefully kissing your temple before sighing as he unlocked the door

"we... didn't get the groceries." Janus mumbled, ushering you towards the staircase, as you hoping the other side wouldn't be able to see right through you, see the pain you were trying so desperately to hide. Patton questions, Virgil and Logan's concerned faces, Roman's indignance at your lack of buying chocolate milk

without a word to the other sides, you and Janus climbed the stairs softly, his hand on your shoulder, as you both walked to the shared bedroom, you staring at the ground as your mind chewed over the events, the thoughts, all those... emotions that returned.

without a word or glance at Janus you moved to the bed, sitting down softly, pulling your needs up, and resting your chin on them, flopping over as if a fish as you hugged your knees. feeling the bed shift, as someone else sat, Janus, running a hand over your shoulder as he stared away, looking at Pac-Man's case.

"what... was that?" Janus asked, his tone serious and worried as you just stared off more, feeling the ever growing pit in the end of your stomach. you merely focusing on your breathing as your brain was filled... couruptted by all of it.

"it was nothing Janus." you mumbled softly, hoping that it'd... all go back in it's box, back in your memories, that it wouldn't still be there, that it wouldn't still stop you, that it wouldn't still... hurt. it happened so long ago, why did it still hurt.

"Don't... lie to me, or yourself... it wasn't nothing, you aren't fine, and we both know that." Janus sighed again, scooting a little closer as he lifted your head and shoulder slightly, lifting and slipping underneath so you were half on his lap.

"it... shouldn't still hurt, they were... buttholes, it happened so long ago, Why... does it still hurt?" you mumbled softly, kneading your head as the headache grew, the emotions seeming like barbed wire around your throat as you tried to keep the water from welling in your eyes.

"because..." Janus said, hesitating slightly, "maybe it doesn't heal completely... whether either of us like it, and trust me I hate it. they hurt you. no matter what you do, there might always be that... piece... that piece of yourself that remembers, the piece of trust and betrayal... and it will heal, and numb with time, which sounds so... insanely wrong, but... you need to trust how far you've come, just because you take one or two steps back doesn't discredit the... thousands of miles you've walked"

the tears streaming down your face as you listened to his words, the way he softly interlaced his fingers with your own, the way his other hand gently touched your face, and the true... compassion in his voice.

"it... still sucks, you know." you cried a little, as Janus hummed softly, moving you again, you leaning against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, silent except for his steady heartbeat, no words to say, just... here.

Thank you so much for reading and I really hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. this... was inspired by this past week, been... an adventure...please don't hesitate to request, even if it might take me a few weeks to get to the them (I promise I'm trying to catch up!), as always the artwork isn't mine, so please give credit to the amazing artist! Please remember you are loved and special!

Have a Fantastic Day!

Ginger Bread~