Sanders Sides x Reader Stuff

Roman x Reader: here comes a thought (vent piece)

Hello, so this one is a little different than I usually do, this is kinda vent piece as it's been really hard right now, but I'll be okay, so yeah, I am really nervous to post this, but... idk... maybe it'll help someone? who knows... anyway, please keep comments clean and Patton friendly

trigger warning: this oneshot major themes of panic/anxiety attacks, and overwhelming thoughts. I just don't wanna trigger anyones... so yeah... there might be other warnings, I'm sorry if I missed them, but if you see some, please just let me know

this oneshot was heavily inspired by this song

it... it hurt. it always hurt. the little imperfections that stand out line a sore thumb, the way the mind constantly thumps against itself contradicting itself yet telling you to keep going, to not let anything stop you, except itself.

the hurricane, filling your mind at any given moment, fogging and tossing everything you loved. if your life was a story, why was your mind always the bad guy? why is it so difficult to be happy, why is it so natural to be there for everyone else, to be the good guy on the outside as the world seems to just... overwhelm

overwhelm like the noise in a large room, conversations everywhere, overwhelm like the way the breaths and seemed to rush in and out, the liquid that overflowed down your cheeks, dripping on your hands as you pulled your knees to your chest burying your face into them once again

the overwhelming noise that you wanted to make, sobs that you wanted to let free, pain you wanted to let out. why does overflow only ever feel like pain, the way it broke free, twisting your soul. as you stared into the wall, nobody could know about this. 

well... for about 30 seconds, as you heard a sound that make your heart beat stop, your breath hitch as you faced the wall, quickly attempting to wipe your tears as you forced your voice out, praying it wouldn't crack or bend a bit

"What's up?" you called, staring at the wall and praying it was just Patton, waiting to tell you that Remus has smashed your vase but no... life just had to do this to you. you were already past your limit, as if a single straw would break the camels back.

"my darling! I made you brownies, with the chocolate chips, and whipped cream, and I brought strawberries, we're going to have a wonderful time." Roman said as he waltz into your room, probably huge smile plastered on his face as he sauntered a little closer, the tray of goodness in his hands.

"Angel? I have brownies"  he said, whispering a bit more as he got closer, his hand now resting on his shoulder as your breathing grew unsteady, the calm before the storm, as it seems a single raindrop fell, splashing against the grown as your breathes started shuttering

before you knew it, there were brownies all over the carpet, you gasping for breath as sobs broke loose and one very... very scared Roman. before you could process anything, Roman's strong arms are wrapped around you, his face nuzzled against your neck as he hums and breathes.

"here comes a thought, that might alarm you, what someone said, and how it harmed you" Roman's soft voice sung out, lightly wiping tears as he stared into your eyes, as you just cried out, hugging him tightly and digging your face into his chest, feeling his breathing and heartbeat against your face as the slight rumble of his singing continued

"something you did that failed to be charming, things that you said, are suddenly swarming" Roman sung softly, as he rocked you softly, running and hand softly through your hair, as he sung softly

"I'm losing sight, and I'm losing touch-" you sung a big, voice cracking.

"and all these little things seem to matter so much." Roman sung back.

"that they confuse me.... that I might lose me..." you sung as Roman cuddled softly

"take a moment, remind yourself... to take a moment and find yourself, take a moment to ask yourself... if this how we fall apart?" Roman sung softly, as he brushed a piece of your hair our of your face, as he rested his forehead against your own

"but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not... it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay it's okay." Roman sung softer as he softly whispered in your ear, his voice calming as he intertwined his fingers with your own

"we've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear... I'm here, I'm here, I'm here... and it was just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just thought, just a thought." Roman said, softly lifting you in his arms as he walked around the room with you. singing as the breathing seemed to slow a little

"it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay." you sung softly into his shoulder as his scent helped more, you squeezing your interlaced hands

"we can watch, we can watch, we can watch, we can watch, we can watch them go by...from here" Roman sung, as he gently set you down, pulling you into a soft hug.

"from here" you replied, taking another deep deep breathe and letting it out slowly.

"take a moment to think of just, flexibility, love and trust. take a moment to think of just, flexibility, love and trust." you and Roman whispered in unison, resting your foreheads against each other as you ran and hand through his hair, his arms holding you safe.

"love... there are more brownies downstairs.... it's.... it's gonna be okay. I love you." Roman whispered softly, pecking your forehead softly before walking out, and it's okay. and it would be okay. as something the worst things, are just thoughts.

thank you for reading and I'm sorry if it was... worse than my usual shots, I didn't know if I should post it or not, and if I'm honest, I might take it down later, but I thought, maybe it could help someone or something... i'm not sure... I really really love this song, and I found it really really helps me calm down from... as Patton would put it, less than awesome feelings. I am sorry if this was a huge... idk... waste of time, and I hope to have another oneshot out eventually. as always the art and song are not mine so please give credit to the amazing artist, and Steven Universe. Please remember you are loved and special

Have a fantastic day

Ginger Bread~