Before It Ends • Hessa • Emery Scott

𝕊𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪 𝕆𝕟𝕖

Words 1403

EMERY.

"Bye, Emery." Auden waves as he shuts the door running up toward the school. I wave back, rolling my eyes at him. How can he be so fucking annoying, but adorable at the same time? Honestly, that's how all little kids are.

I pull out of the parking lot, continuing down the road towards my school. I drive slow.

I don't want to go into school because I'm nervous. Did Cole really mean what he said? Did he mean it when he said I'm smart enough to go to college? That if I tried I could go?

I used to think college was so fucking stupid but the thought of seeing Cole at college makes me want to go. If we could get into the same college then we could see each other and I won't feel like shit anymore.

God, to think I used to be partying and drinking to get rid of the pain with Robby and Chris, but now I'm fucking studying to get rid of the pain with Cole... what a huge change.

Not only do I feel like my wants in life have changed, but I feel better. I feel a little bit more happy than I did before Cole. I just wish I saw my feelings when he was here.

Now that's all can see. All I can see is the changes he has made to my life, and it's so fucking hard to go back to normal. I don't want to go back to normal.

I want to move forwards not backwards, which is another thing Cole seemed to sneak into my life. Before him, I didn't care if I was moving forwards or backwards, I just wanted to move quickly so I wouldn't have to experience anymore pain.

Now I realize life has a rhythm. If I want to get into a school I have to try, and if I want to feel better I have to try. And anything is fucking better than the feeling I had before Cole.

I pull into the parking lot and get out of the car. I grab my bag from the passenger's seat and begin my way inside.

I won't be late to class this time. And I actually have notebooks and pencils in my bag today. As I walk to my locker Tailey walks up to me, she opens her mouth to speak but I wave her off. "Do you ever take a hint?" I snap, twisting around and stopping her from saying anything, "I don't want to fucking talk to you ever fucking again." I say slowly, twisting myself around and begin walking to my locker again.

Now, just because I want to make a change enough to get into college, doesn't mean I have to be nice. One step at a fucking time.

Tailey doesn't follow me, but I can just picture the small embarrassed expression on her face. The one she puts on when she is embarrassed but doesn't want anyone to know. It's the 'I-don't-care-bitch' face.

I grab my math notebook and a pencil and begin walking towards my class when I bump into Mark. This time, we don't actually bump into each other. "Hey, last night was really fun."