Before It Ends • Hessa • Emery Scott

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Chapter seventeen (not translated).

HARDIN.

Once fucking Shrek ends, I am determined to talk to Auden. Tessa is asleep on my shoulder and Auden is sifting through Netflix.

I put my hand on the exposed skin of Tessa's neck, brushing my thumb on her cheek. She stirs but doesn't wake.

"Hey buddy, I want to talk to you in a minute." I tell Auden quietly, "let me take mumma upstairs first, okay?"

He nods, confusion written on his face.
Fuck, I have been having 'a talk' with everyone lately. First it was Emery then it was Tessa about my shitty feelings and now it's Auden. I still feel that I shouldn't be the one they look up to. I'm such a fuck-up and here I am having 'a talk' with my children.

I slowly move my body from under Tessa's, catching her head with my hand so she doesn't wake. My right hand goes under her legs, my left gently guiding around her shoulders. I hoist her up, holding her close to me. She lets out a tired moan, and I hush her, leaning down to kiss her forehead. I glance down at Auden still on the floor and he is watching me.

I love that he can witness the affection of both of his parents. Of course, affection meaning the small things, not fucking. The small forehead kisses, the small thigh rubs, and tucking her hair behind her ear. I never witnessed my parents do that. That was one thing that I missed out as a child; I never saw my parents happy.

I'm careful to take Tessa up the steps, dodging everything that could hit her feet. Once we're in the room I lay her on the bed, pulling the blanket draped over the foot of the bed, over her. I lightly kiss her lips, before I leave her be.

I go downstairs and Auden is sitting there, staring at the floor as he picks one of his toenails. He always does that when he's thinking. I softly smile as I approach him and sit down on the couch.

"Listen, bud," I begin, and he glances over at me, "this girlfriend thing that I talked to you about, I didn't mean ask out everyone. I meant be nice to every girl and let them come to you." That is somewhat true. Although my real intention was to tell him to flirt with all the girls and then date his pick. That's normal right? Even if it ends in heartbreak, it's life, it's going to end with feelings getting hurt somehow. "You can't date three people. It'll end in heartbreak." I say, deciding to stick with Tessa's reasoning.

Auden shrugs, his eyes not meeting mine as he begins to speak. "I'm sorry. I didn't know..." he trails off as tears come to his eyes. I can tell he's fighting to keep his posture because he is slightly shaking. Every time we talk to Auden about something serious, he cries. I think he gets upset that we are disappointed, but it's not really directed towards him.

"No, I get it Audie. You didn't do anything wrong, but I don't want you breaking those girl's hearts." I get up and squat down beside him as he lets out a small cry. I rub his shoulders. "Maybe you can let them down easily, tell them you only want to be friends." I suggest.

"But I don't want to be friends with Mallory!" He says in between tears.

"Was that the girl you were texting Sunday?" He nods, and I look down. "You can go on a date with her, Audie. But you can't have three girlfriends."

He lets out another cry as he lifts his shoulders and his hands cover his face. I scoot closer, adjusting myself so I can hug him. I hate seeing my children cry. It makes me want to cry, and that says a fucking lot. This week, I've seen Tessa cry, and Emery cry. Now Auden? This week is officially the worst fucking week I have ever had.