Chapter 12 - Jalkukda

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Published on 12.04.2021

● A U T H O R ●

"Can I ask you one question?"

"Sure!"

"Please be honest about it."

Vihaan nodded in response.

"Do you regret agreeing to this marriage?"

He looked at her inquisitively trying to unveil the reason behind her asking this question but all he found was a kind of apprehension and anticipation for his reply. Did he really regret saying yes for this?

Of course not!

But he chose to be diplomatic about it. After all, hadn't she made it clear that this marriage will just be on papers and bind them by law, nothing else beyond that.

"Does it really matter if I regret it or not? It doesn't make any difference. I had to get married someday. If not you then someone else." Vihaan answered her trying to make as much sense as he could. Aarohi hummed softly.

Maybe it was her overthinking that made her ask that despite of knowing what his answer would be. But then why did hearing the very obvious reply affected her, hurt her?

When you give yourself to someone, your time, your trust, make them an important part of your life and when they leave you making you feel unwanted, that breaks you a little. And the knowledge of how okay they are with losing you hurts even more. Aarohi has gone through this feeling a lot of times in her life. Vihaan's answer was a subtle reminder of how much less difference she makes in others lives. Maybe it wasn't supposed to be meant that but then who can control what our mind thinks or how it perceives others words.

Harsh told her the truth few days back and so far she was sure that she had managed herself well by not breaking down and letting anyone else know about it. It wasn't her fault that he cheated on her or never loved her. But that didn't help her in not triggering her insecurities and pushing her more towards the edge far from all. She wondered what if she and Vihaan actually gave a chance to their relationship. But looking back at her history on how easily people lose interest in her, discard her out of their life, remain unaffected as if her presence or absence hardly makes any difference making her feel worthless and miserable, she couldn't bring herself to hope. What scared her more is what if she ended up hurting Vihaan? She thought this not because she had hurt someone badly ever knowingly or unknowingly but she never got the validation from anyone if they're proud to have her. She worked hard, had garnered multiple accolades for herself but never got a verbal satisfactory acknowledgement from her parents which she always wished for. This had led her to believe that maybe she's incapable of making anyone truly happy no matter how hard she tries.

Aarohi wasn't a person who went on cribbing about the wrongs in life and sulk over them. She was grateful for whatever she'd been blessed with. But she did have her own share of fears and inhibitions and unfortunately they were stronger than the flame of hope that made a person continue to wish for the preposterous.

Her train of thoughts were broken when Vihaan's mother came towards them and asked Vihaan to accompany his friends and other guests. It was time for her mehendi. Since childhood, Aarohi loved mehendi. The intricate patterns, the dark rich colour of henna beautifying her hands always made her happy. But today, when the mehendi artists took their seats beside her and her hands in theirs, her stomach churned in nervousness. It was her mehendi ceremony. Her hands will carry his name, Vihaan's name.

Amrit and Smriti also made themselves comfortable around them while Sandhya excused herself for some time. Bollywood songs played in the hall and Aarohi soon found herself getting distracted by them and humming the tunes. She didn't notice when some more ladies had gathered until she heard them chattering and gossiping. They must be from the groom's side, she thought as she was seeing them for the first time.

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