chapter twenty six

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The world was spinning, everything inside Sapnap's brain was spinning.

It was so quiet, yet so loud. He heard the heavy footsteps of his father and how he screamed his name trough the hallway. Maybe Karl had heard it. Sapnap hoped he did.

Minutes went by which felt like hours. The guilt was pushing the smaller boy to the ground, literally he was sitting on the ground, his knees up to his chest and muffling his slight sobs in them.

What would he do if his dad found Karl? Would he actually do something to him?

More minutes passed by and Sapnap was still on the ground, all his vigour consumed. He was just sitting on the ground, his cheeks burning because of the many tears that were traveling down there. Then, he heard the footsteps coming closer. He finally heard how his father walked back downstairs and it felt like he could breathe again. He tried to be cautiously, to not led the attention of his father onto him. But the relief he felt at that moment overtook his feelings, his brain and his movements and he was clearly running too fast towards his room, still it felt way too slow for Sapnap to get to Karl.

The door opened with a creak and he bit his lip, stepping slowly inside his room afterwards. He saw his hair, his shiny, fluffy, brown hair spread on the pillow of him, the pillow in his bed. "Oh my god", he breathed.

Sapnap's hand was brushing Karl's hair out of his face, who grumbled in slight annoyance after that. The smaller boy didn't even notice how there were still tears running down his scarlet cheeks and how they dropped down on his blanket.

"Is it already morning?", the brunet mumbled.

His eyes were still closed but he kept on talking. "Can we cuddle for a few minutes before breakfast? Please", he slipped a little bit back, giving the other boy space to lay down. Sapnap did lay down and instantly swung his arms around Karl's body, pulling him close. He planted so many kisses on his head, which caused the taller boy to giggle softly. "What's that for?", he asked.

"We need to go, Karl. Now", Sapnap sounded awfully serious and with that, Karl finally decided to open his eyes, widening them instantly after his vision went clearer. His thumb was tender on his skin, how it caught another tear after another. The smaller boy didn't know he could cry that much nor did he know that his heart could arch that much, arch so much for one particular person. That person was currently looking at him with pretty blue eyes, gleaming with worry.

"Hey, what's wrong? What happened?", now both of his hands were cupping Sapnap's flushed face.

"My dad ­­— he is home and I- I thought he saw you and I-". It was too much. All the fear that accumulated inside him as he was just sitting in silence on the ground... it was coming to an end, it would slosh over the railing, it would break the dam.

And it did.

Sapnap started sobbing so much, everything inside him started to somehow sob as well. His body was shaking in the fondly embrace of the brunet and the proximity should be making him feel better, should be making him feel more relaxed but it did the opposite. He could have lost this, he could have lost him.

"He could have found you", his voice was muffled by the material of Karl's shirt, the material which he was clinging to at that moment.

"But he didn't! Look, I'm right here and I am fine. I am right by your side, Sapnap. Look up, I'm right here", the brunet answered, his voice laced with such softness, Sapnap felt himself melting into it, into the softness of his voice and touch.

They remained like that for a while. Sapnap in Karl's arms, his sobs getting less while his heart didn't stop beating so rapid.

Feelings are overwhelming.

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